Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Poor Minnesotaens

Post #40 Topic: Adrian Peterson… The Atlanta Falcon???

Sucks to be from Minnesota. Its cold. There are a lot of lakes. Its next to Canada. It has a weird semi-hourglass-like shape. It’s the 2nd most efficient cheese producer in the country, which given the negative connotation of the BEST producer, is quite shameful. Minnesotians have strange accents. Minnesota is the only state that gives its fans bad dome – until the Twins open their new stadium in the next couple years. Bottom line, it sucks to be from Minnesota.

Unfortunately, there is no Lloyd Christmas, no Harry Dunn to “totally redeem” Minnesota for what should command many a harsh look and disproving glare. This year, Minnesota has gone even farther to distance itself from its already misfortuned citizens.

Hockey is huge in Minnesota. Hockey is so big that the Minnesota Wild don’t schedule home games on Tuesdays which happens to be the “state-wide High School Hockey night”. No this is not a typo. Its no accident that many of today’s NHL stars played prep hockey in Minnesota (Sid Crosby to name the equivalent to everyone). Hockey players from all over the country come to university of Minnesota to play Ice Hockey, and thus the Gophers are perennial favorites in college hockey. Over a decade ago, when the Minnesota North Stars left Minnesota for Dallas, it took less than two years for Minnesota businessmen to realize how drastically the lives of the state citizens had been impacted and to obtain a franchise agreement to start a new franchise, the Minnesota Wild. Season tickets to the Wild sold out in the 1st month, and have remained unavailable other than through waiting lists ever since.

Well Minnesota hockey fans are about to get angry again. Wild coach Jacques Lemaire has, does and will continue to play a defensive style of hockey. For newbies, that means defense first and offensive breaks only after the puck has cleared their own zone. That means no breakaways, no lead passes, no fast breaks, no 2 on 1s and no offensive risks for Minnesota Wild star Marion Gaborik. If you saw Gaborik’s game against the Rangers earlier this year you would realize just how good he is. But Gaborik likes the offensive game, and would be better served (statistically and financially) to play in a more open system that is more willing to have defensemen join the chase.

Because of this preference, Gaborik’s relationship with head coach Lemaire is publicly strained. Lemaire has gone as far as to express his displeasure with Gaborik’s stubbornness by limiting him to under 18 minutes a game while the Tampa Bay Lightning alone have 3 offensive players averaging more than 23 minutes per game. So to make a long story only a little less long, it seems as if Gaborik is on the way out of Minnesota come the trade deadline. Off to greener pastures, a more appreciating coach, more minutes, more goals and more notoriety.

Marion Gaborik, however, constitutes only a piece of this article, serving as symbolism for why Minnesota citizens have witnessed their lives go from worse to worser to worsest.

Several years ago Kevin Garnett had an opportunity to leave the Wolves for a “contender”. The Wolves had been stagnantly stuck in the 1st round of the playoffs for several years. But Garnett loved Minnesota, loved his fans and more importantly loved his team. So he took a slight paycut to remain with Minnesota with the hopes that they would rebuild around him; they didn’t.

After putting up with the frustration of losing for several more years, GARNETT STILL DIDN’T DEMAND A TRADE. But GM Glen Taylor realized that it was only fair to give one of the game’s best men, players and hardest workers a chance to win a championship and seal his legacy as one of the penultimate (not sure if thats the right word but it has the right sound) big-men in the history of the game. So off to Boston (see earlier posts for my opinion on Boston sports).

And now this. Damn! That really sucks. Its tough to watch the Knicks, and the Rangers are always disappointing. The Yankees ran out of steroids and the Mets COLLAPSED. But all that agony doesn’t compare to this! NOT THIS!

From the perspective of a Mets fan who knows about his team but not so much about his prospects… Minnesota got robbed. How is it possible that Minnesota was willing to put the FUTURE of their team in jeopardy by losing their Ace (the league’s ace), for 1 sure fire lifeteam near-allstar, 1 pitching gamble, and a 4th and 5th in the rotation potential guys.

Call me ridiculous but is it only a matter of time that Minnesota is willing to trade Adrian Peterson for none other than… the rights to Michael Vick?

Other Notes

Is anybody really sure that dry cleaning actually includes the “cleaning” part?

Hi, I’ll have 8 pounds of crayfish.

I got a splinter, and it hurts and its stuck. Who really gets splinters?

South Park > or = Aqua Teen >>>>>> Family Guy

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