Tuesday, February 5, 2008


Post #41 Topic: Pretty Super Bowl as far as bowls go.

I was not here, in NY, for the Super Bowl so I missed the opportunity to compliment Eli on how amazing his performance was. Although I must note that anyone who reads my column will appreciate that I wrote my OWN COLUMN TWO WEEKS AGO talking about how good Eli was and had been. So thank you other NY reporters for taking my thunder and bottling it only to sell a couple more 25 cent papers. Before the Post or the Daily News can come up with some creative reporting… I think I’ll stick to my e-z widers. Anyway, here’s what I noticed.

A lot of people were shocked that Eli went to Tyree with the clock winding down. Even more people were surprised that Tyree, as if being held up by the hand of god, was able to make what is now being heralded as one of the most amazing single playoff performances in the history of any sport. I wasn’t. Syracuse breeds champions. The proof is in the pudding and the pudding is in my knapsack.

Is anyone else waiting for Randy Moss to say something stupid? You can take the boy out of the Minnesota Vikings but you can’t take the Minnesota Vikings out the boy (see last post). Moss has been, for an otherwise “boisterous” person, relatively quiet this year. All of his typical pet peeves seemed to magically disappear: He was getting the ball, his teammates were protecting his quarterback, etc., etc., etc… The Patriots were co confident that the Brady-Moss combo would prove fruitful again that they went as far as to predict a 42 point performance. But a responsible sports analyst would have recognized that the peak of the nearly perfect season took place several weeks ago, at the end of the regular season against… THE GIANTS.

Since then Randy went two consecutive playoff games with only one catch, and was then accused of rape. Suddenly, Randy wasn’t getting the ball, Brady wasn’t being protected and the season actually collapsed. This excites me for two reasons. 1. Boston fans deserve crushing defeat. 2. Randy Moss is like a dormant volcano twelve thousand years overdue for an eruption… Mark my words… he will do something stupid.

The Roxbury commercial was an emotional roller-coaster (if you didn’t see it you should either shoot yourself or download it on youtube, depending on whether you’re closer to a computer or a gun… YOU CAN ALSO FIND IT ON THIS SITE ON MY LINKS ON THE RIGHT COLUMN). During that 30 second split, I laughed, I reflected and I cried

Laughing: Roxbury is the best movie of all time. If you disagree then you haven’t seen it more than once in which case you should not be reading this right now)

Reflected: All the good times I’ve had with Roxbury and all the good times to come.

Cried: I get off telling people how good Roxbury is. It makes me an individual. Then, when my pestering finally pays off and these people watch it, they forever applaud my recommendation. NOW, what I’ve come upon is a sudden spreading of Roxbury fever for which I can take no credit. Tears of a clown…

Brandon Jacobs may not be the most athletic runner in football. He may not be able to cut, he may not have that 2nd burst of speed potential, he may not be great at finding holes and he may be enormous (he is the latter), but what he does do is soften up defenses better than pretty much any runner in the league. Now given my football knowledge is limited, but Brandon Jacobs really wore down New England’s defensive line… Impressive.

Wes Welker is the MVP of that Patriot team. Brady might be the best, and Moss the most talented, but Wes Welker is an automatic shot of energy on every play.

Lastly: This is a long shot but hear me out. New England cheats. They cheated this year and according to the populous opinion, they’ve been cheating ever since 2003 (perhaps earlier, if you consider Drew Bledsoe taking steroids as cheating). The Patriots taped the FAVORED Rams’ final walkthrough before their Super Bowl Bout, Brady’s first blip on the NFL Great’s radar. As a math person, I know that in between points A and B exists a line. Here, that line is FULL OF CHEATING. Now, had the Patriots won yesterday, the NFL would have been destroyed, obliterated and ruined. Cheating in football (resulting in Super Bowls) would make baseball’s steroids problem seem like a splinter in your finger that annoys you but not quite enough to have you worry about getting it out. Cheating in football would have made the past 5 years of NFL competition essentially worthless. Tom Brady would have been dethroned, Belichek degeniused, Bruschi de-heroed, and Vinatieri (remember him???) would be de-clutchified.

Now if the Patriots had won, the cheating talk would have been front and center. This Superbowl’s validity would immediately be questioned and NFL pundits everywhere would be calling for Roger Goodell’s head (who throws away the evidence other than O.J. (NFL THEME????)). Reporters would immediately expect the worst and the NFL would face a lot of heat.

The Giants’ win avoided this problem. The Giants, lead by Eli Manning are the feel good story of the year. Everyone loves the underdog… especially when the favorite CHEATED en route to becoming the favorite. If Clemens’ cheating didn’t make Barry Bonds laugh then the Patriots winning sure would have.

So what am I saying? I’m just saying that its awfully convenient for the NFL that the Giants won, and that this Superbowl (perhaps the 1st in years) was not marred by CHEATING… While fixing sports seems too outrageous to be realistic, let us not be so quick to forget what we learned last year about the NBA.

Other Notes

Crawfish Etouffe

Shrimp Gumbo

Rabbit Jambalaya

Crawfish Boil


Fried Oyster Po-boy


Shrimp Creole

Fried Alligator (on an off the stick)

Fried Chicken on a stick

Fried Shrimp on a stick

King Cake

Bread Pudding

Fried Banana Pudding

Turtle Soup


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