Mind your own cock

Post #43 Topic: 20 Bucks on el Cocko de Pedro

In 2004 the Red Sox won their first championship since god invented wonder bread. The ace on that famed Red Sox team??? Pedro Martinez. Pedro’s performance that season was so commanding that the Mets gave the aging, oft-injured hurler a four year guaranteed contract when the less risky and more appropriate move would have been to give him two. But the Mets wanted to win, and when a team wants to win… they can bet on Pedro.

This year, the Mets have Johan Santana in the equation, the best pitcher in baseball. Nonetheless, according to the New York Post, “The Bible of New York Sports ~ DCMSG”, Willie Randolph is yet to determine who his opening day starter will in fact be. Thing is that the Mets need a big opening day in order to win back some of the fans that their recent collapse caused them to lose. The Mets need to start out on a good note, one of promise, potential and for all intensive purposes inevitability. So, the debate is who is more “sure-fire” to win on opening day, the last opening day in Shea EVER. Chances are that the eventual answer will be Johan, but don’t discount Pedro. When it comes to big opening days, you can bet on Pedro.

Yesterday (February 6^th, 2008), Pedro took on one of baseball’s best all time pitchers, Juan Marichal, in a historic pitcher’s duel. Only this time the contest didn’t take place on a mound. No the contest didn’t even take place on a “moundless” pitcher’s “spot” in a still underfinanced baseball hot bed, Dominican Republic. When you want to double your money in a cock-fight… you can bet on Pedro.

DISCLAIMER: I do not condone animal fighting, or any sort of animal abuse for that matter. I was one of the biggest critics of Michael Vick who’s actions I believe earned him an ocean view condo in a little place called hell. But there is one difference between that and this instance, and no it doesn’t have anything to do with my belief that dogs are self-conscious (realize that they’re alive) animals and chickens are only D.S.I.W. (drumsticks in waiting). Instead, the difference is that Vick was an idiot in the US and A, while Pedro committed his sin in Dominican Republic.

In the D.R. (as my people call it), cock-fighting is legal. Not only is it legal, but apparently, cock-fighting is a “country-wide obsession”. It’s a historic piece of Dominican culture that is notorious for its ability to create spontaneous social gatherings that have united residents of the island for perhaps centuries. Britney Spears to Americans is like cock-fighting to the Dominicans (no pun intended). We talk about her at the water-cooler, and make predictions about what will happen next. We even invest in her by buying her albums… see the relationship? If it weren’t for cock-fighting, what would Dominicans talk about at the dinner table (joke I swear).

Enough senseless defending; my point is clear. In the Dominican Republic, cock-fighting is not considered wrong. Its not illegal, not looked down upon and not hidden from public eye. Its social, political, cultural, economical (if that is a word???) and, as some would dare to say, vital.

But aren’t we free to judge him how we will? Sure, go right ahead. But first heed this warning.

Isn’t a large issue of this upcoming election whether or not and if so, to what extent we as Americans should be willing to impose our lifestyles on others? I personally believe that this imposition should be kept to a minimum, and reserved only for the most necessary times. Is it really necessary for us to get involved with whether or not another country is right in allowing its citizens to bet on cock-fighting. I know the bird died and I know its cruel... TO US.

So listen America. Stop judging Pedro for doing something that was as much a part of his pastime as baseball was ours. Seriously, drop it. We can ask him to follow our rules while he’s here, but while he’s not here… HE’S NOT HERE! I’m sure Pedro is appauled at a plethora of the activities that we so disgustingly engage in every day, but we never hear him say anything do we?

Of course not!!! Pedro saves his political message announcements for his trusty locker room midget!

Other Notes

Getting your hands dirty is a terribly over-used cliché. Stop using it.

There are probably a couple jobs that are safer than under water welding… PICK ONE.

If you put some chicken fat gel (yes it exists) inside an uncooked dumpling wrap with a piece of raw chicken… and steam it… you will have a really delicious dumpling.

Butter crackers are making a comeback.

R.I.P. Weezie… killed by Jazz, which is the most New Orleans way to go.