tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39188665835346069052024-03-13T04:05:58.858-07:00DC the M.S.G.SC Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08521995281529578201noreply@blogger.comBlogger68125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3918866583534606905.post-72740087292946904702011-10-26T19:05:00.000-07:002011-10-26T19:14:39.418-07:00A place where fans Buy and Sell ticket with NO FEEsHey people,<div><br /></div><div>Been a while. The reason I've been so MIA from this blog is that absolutely nothing has happened in the world of sports over the past few years. Nothing... I'm Serious. Perhaps the whole Tiger Woods thing was of some note. I suppose his future tournament successes will dictate whether that whole shabang ever mattered (typing shabang feels weird). </div><div><br /></div><div>Maybe a few other things. Gretzky retired, again. McGwire is back and still huge (wrongful accusers... all of you), and Canada remains unseated in the curlingverse (like the twitterverse, but for curling). </div><div><br /></div><div>Well... there is one major development. I stumbled upon an awesome new website the other day called Seatcrew - http://seatcrew.com</div><div><br /></div><div>This site claims to be "the no-fee, local, social marketplace where fans buy and sell tickets". A bit confusing, maybe. But after playing around with the site, the tagline made sense (Stupid SEO rules). </div><div><br /></div><div>Basically, this is a site where you can list and buy tickets for free. I personally detest stubhub and find craigslist headache inducing. This site eliminates the service fees by connecting you directly to the sellers and eliminates shipping fees (i once paid 20 bucks to ship stubhub tickets two weeks before the evnet) by letting you search for tickets by location - its cool, i found Jets tickets right around my block, talked back and forth with the ACTUAL seller, and went and picked them up - $50 bucks saved over the stubhub alternative. Also, in relation to craigslist, the site is really easy to use. It is very easy to search for a ticket, put in an offer for a ticket, and confirm the transaction.</div><div><br /></div><div>What's cool is they let you stay in touch with the seller by following him. In essence, you can get updates when the seller you like does something new. For example, i "followed" my seller. The next day he added a new ticket and the update popped into my feed.</div><div><br /></div><div>You can also review and rate sellers a la ebay which is a nice way to weed out those sheisty craigslist miscreants.</div><div><br /></div><div>Enough rambling - check them out at http:seatcrew.com </div><div>you can follow them @seatcrew</div><div>you can like them @ http://facebook.com/seatcrew</div><div>you can read their blog at http://seatcrew.tumblr.com</div><div><br /></div><div>You can find me at the bar.</div><div><br /></div><div>Goodnight...</div><div><br /></div><div><b>OTHER THOUGHTS</b></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div>The world series got rained out. What if it rains again tomorrow, and the next day and every day until april 2nd. Could we conceivably have the world series after the first day of spring training. We'll see who's really the best when both staff's aces are pitching on 136 days rest.</div><div><br /></div><div>The world series is a heavily contested match between a hockey team and a big east school, i think, im not really paying attention.</div><div><br /></div><div>The NHL started the season in Europe. Technically that makes it the IHL, which i suppose wasn't instituted for trademark reasons and the fact that the whole "starting in europe" thing is pretty stupid.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>SC Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08521995281529578201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3918866583534606905.post-77730614795048261952011-10-16T11:08:00.001-07:002011-10-16T11:14:33.078-07:00SeatcrewHey Fans,<div><br /></div><div>Been a long time since I've posted here. The blog world is incredibly saturated and given the lack of focus of my blog, I felt that spewing out my genius and using it to attract you, the readers, was unfair.</div><div><br /></div><div>But upon completing my last post, in June of 2010, i vowed to myself to one day return to the scene. Condition precedent to that vow was that I would remain in hiding until an event sufficiently earth-shattering to awaken me, occurred.</div><div><br /></div><div>And occurred it has.</div><div><br /></div><div>Have you guys heard about Seatcrew.com? If not, I'm happy to be the one telling you all, all about it.</div><div><br /></div><div>From what i understand, and the details are hazy because they're not fully launched yet, Seatcrew.com is a no fee ticket website. Yep, no fees. pretty sweet.</div><div><br /></div><div>The other day i paid $20 in service fees to Stubhub, and then had to overnight the tickets even though the game i bought tickets for waas 12 days away. Ridiculous! </div><div><br /></div><div>I had a brief conversation with the Seatcrew founder and he told me that in addition to being no-fee based, Seatcrew.com will be a location based search site so that you can literally find tickets on your block, and skip the BS costs of having to overnight tickets from New York to New York weeks before the event.</div><div><br /></div><div>Also, they have some interesting social layering of which I haven't gotten the chance to hear about yet but should be pretty cool and innovative. </div><div><br /></div><div>Anyway, i think they're launching soon. Could this be the solution to ridiculous over charging on Stubhub? Could this replace the unfriendly, anonymous, disorganized ticket-buying chaos that is Craigslist?</div><div><br /></div><div>I sure as hell hope so. For all the money i've spent on fees on Stubhub, i could have a rainbow of Aston Martins and a beach house in Charleston.</div><div><br /></div><div>Seatcrew.com - and remember, DCMSG brought it to you first.</div><div><br /></div><div>Facebook.com/seatcrew is their facebook page. They're also on twitter @Seatcrew</div>SC Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08521995281529578201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3918866583534606905.post-74039994661927529422010-06-09T17:00:00.000-07:002010-06-09T17:24:47.897-07:00June 8th - a Great Day for the Yankees<b>From the Babe to the Boy</b><div><b><br /></b></div><div><i>Post #4 Volume #2</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div>Without looking, I believe that C.C. Sabathia makes approximately $25 million/year. This is a lot of money for a man who makes David Wells looks fit and typically ends seasons as one of the league leaders in I.P. (innings pitched/island pride). Given that his "ness" is pretty fat and the somewhat ironic "inning-eating", it can only be expected that C.C. will begin to slowly wear down. Maybe the booze will give him a few extra years a la Wells, maybe he'll get his fat ass in shape. Maybe he'll get a lat belt and the only one eating will be me, snacking on my words. But regardless of time-bomb tickingness, C.C. makes almost 25 a year... <b>SHIT!</b></div><div><b><br /></b></div><div>______________________________________________________________</div><div><br /></div><div>Last night Stephen Strasburg, who I've only endearingly coined as "The Boy", went 7 innings, gave up two runs and struck out 14 batters including the last 7 he faced. He looked phenomenal. His fastball seemed to move like a curve and his curve had the velocity of many star pitchers' fastballs. The fact that he's 21 and has a fluid motion is scary, and translates to a low probability of injury, similar to another young ace - Tim Lincecum. </div><div><br /></div><div>But what is even scarier is that Strasburg's entry contract of 4 years, 15 million is ONLY 4 YEARS LONG, and at the same time... 4 FREAKIN YEARS LONG. </div><div><br /></div><div>This contract is short because in 4 years he is going to be a free agent. That means that in 4 years the Nationals are going to have to cough up some significant ducats in order to keep him. Sure Dunn will be gone but Storen and Zimmerman are also going to be entering the prime of their careers, Bryce Harper should by then have cemented himself as a star, and "The Boy" will come callin for the big bucks.</div><div><br /></div><div>This contract is long because a lot can happen in four years. In four years, when the Greinke's, Lincecums, Jimenez's amongst the slew of young hitting phenoms are due new deals, if the MLB is still chugging along profitably, the new generation of baseball weight bearers are going to be demanding a lot of money. It's unlikely that a salary cap will be imposed, which is unfortunate because the promise of another means to stimy the exponential growth of contracts seems minuscule. If Fat-ass Sabathia got 25 million last year, a significant increase on Santana's deal from a year before, imagine what the top aces will be getting in 2014 - is it crazy to assume 35-40 million? Sounds nuts, but A-Rod, who may just be entering the slow-moving twilight of his career will be getting 30 mill a year until he can <i>legally</i> start banging her (is viagra a steroid?). </div><div><br /></div><div>Sure the hype was big last night - biggest crowd in Nats' history, only sellout other than home opener, blah-blah-blah-blah. Is this team sustainable? The Orioles hardly appear to be and they're steeped in tradition. My thoughts are then when it comes time to decide between 35 mill between Zimmerman and Bryce Harper, or 35 for "The Boy", Scotty Boras is going to be stuck developing one of his infamous sales brochures. </div><div><br /></div><div>Luckily, his promotional mailing will only require one stamp for there is truly only one franchise that could support such a pricetag and take a flier that a stud, velocity-centric pitcher won't break down (which they frequently do). That team, that empire of evil is none other than the Yankees. </div><div><br /></div><div>For that reason, last night was a great night for the Yankees. By 2015 Jeter <i>should</i> be retired. Mo, Posada, Petitte, A-Rod, Burnett and others will all likely be absent from the pay-roll. And, in a moment of little shock, the new boss (same as the old boss) will open up his wallet for baseball's best pitcher, and he'll likely be the only one to do so for as Lil' Wayne once noted "his pockets so deep i done fucked around and drowned in 'em". </div><div><br /></div><div>So congrats Yankees. Your future prize had a successful debut in the <i><u>rest</u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; "> of the majors, your farm system, bringing him one giant step closer to Yankee Greatness.</span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><br /></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><b>Other Notes</b></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><b><br /></b></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">Crissy Pronger? Really? Show me one journalist who wouldn't run from the thought of a Pronger beat-down... sexy skirt or not. </span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><br /></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">Stanton... Posey... Davis... Leake... Strasburg... The MLB has a great pipeline of talent with the promise of even more to come this year. Reminds me a lot of <b>THE NEW YORK RANGERS!</b> (too early?)</span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><br /></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">What do you call it when people are starting to hunger for a change from all this change? Predictable? Change is for cowards; the strong-minded take what's great and make it better. </span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><br /></span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">I swear I bought a Flotilla at Taco Ball for a buck last night, and it came with free soda.</span></i></div>SC Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08521995281529578201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3918866583534606905.post-71655833178864816252010-04-22T15:35:00.001-07:002010-04-22T22:15:50.130-07:00A Few of My Favorite Things<strong><em>Post #3, Volume #2</em></strong><br /><strong><em></em></strong><br /><strong>Why the NHL Playoffs are Sweet.</strong><br /><strong></strong><br />Last night I was watching some NHL Playoff action with some friends - particularly the Bruins/Sabres games. In honor of earth day and in belated honor of 4.20, I was mildly intoxicated but worry not for the experience was entirely organic! Watching what turned out to be an amazing game, my mind was wandering around the past several years, attempting to recall a sporting event I'd enjoyed so fervently; for a while I struggled.<br /><br />About a year ago I went to a rodeo in Ft. Worth Texas. Yes, I was put off by the roping of young cattle and the training of young humans to do said roping but nonetheless I was pretty darn entertained.<br /><br />I caught a game of gangsta' stickball on Frederick Douglas Boulevard last year - that too was sweet.<br /><br />Apparently, beyond those two events my mind is devoid of a fonder memory than watching a playoff hockey games. So, with the help of some herbal enhancement, I put together the following list - I call it (enderaingly) "<em>Why the NHL Playoffs are Sweet!</em>"<br /><br />1. <strong>No Shootout: </strong>I understand the reasons behind the shootout. NHL barrons will tell you that it increases interest amongst the casual hockey fan and avoids the potentially never-ending drama of a four or five overtime game. Well let me say I am no casual hockey fan and I quite like the drama thank you very much. In the regular season, overtime is only five minutes. Not wanting to give up a goal in that O.T. period and knowing that the season (except after the 82nd game) will continue tomorrow, teams are not so interested in Winning in Overtime. This is especially the case against division rivals. Rather, most teams prefer to seal their fate in the shootout where they are insulated against the mistake of miserable defenseman a la Wade Redden. In the playoffs, teams need to win - there's no settling for an overtime loss. For example, last night the Sabres NEEDED to win. Already down 2-1 in the series and faced with the threat of having to win three straight games, the Sabres went all out in overtime; pinching both defenseman as soon as the puck crossed the redline into the Bruins zone. This strategy makes for a fast, up-and-down game in which fast-breaks are plentiful and outnumbered only be quality scoring chances. Then, when the game is anchored by two top goalies both on top their games, fans are rewarded with exciting offensive hockey, and like last night - amazing reactionary goaltending. NHL playoff overtime games piss on regular season overtime games.<br /><br />2. <strong>Better Announcers:</strong> Call me a homer, but Sam Rosen is really a joy to listen to. He adds such an intriguing pace to the game. On odd-man rushes his voice lingers like a skillful russian playmaker, his inflection a direct barometer of the exact degree of pressure the defending team is under at the moment - in essence, his announcing personifies the action and forcefully establishes the suspense in the minds of listeners and the eyes of viewers by vocally supplementing the on-ice action. Sam however is becoming "of age", and there are nights that his broadcasting ability seems to teeter on the age of competence. But, as evidenced by his powerful calling of the Bruins/Sabres game, when it comes down to the playoffs Sam is like the Johan Franzen and his Mighty Wings in that despite constant suggestions of the opposite, he's still got it.<br /><br />3. <strong>The Best Players Play... A Lot.</strong><br /><strong></strong><br />Tyler Myers is 19, he's 6 foot 8, and he is going to be a stud defenseman. Despite some early season hiccups, he became not only the Sabres most reliable defenseman and not only their most offensively gifted defenseman, but also one of the top defenseman in the league - at age 19. In fact, Myers has progressed so speedily that he is almost playing up to the caliber of the defenseman whom his size and agility enables him to emulate - Zdeno Chara. Last night, the two defenseman wound up matched against one another quite often. In fact, in the process of explaining some of the strategy around the positioning of the players during the 1st overtime to my novice hockey-fan friends, I found myself constantly using "Myers" or "Chara" as examples. I began to wonder how many minutes they were playing. Chara is a horse; known for eating up about 28-30 minutes per night during the regular season and more in the playoffs. But Myers is a rookie, and to keep up to NHL speed for that period of time is grueling for even the most experienced of defensemen, especially the large ones. The final numbers: Myers logged 35 minutes and Chara 37. Make no mistake, this is a lot of minutes. To put it in perspective a basketball game is 48 minutes, much of it is spent standing around. If you figure that a team typically doesn't shoot until the shot clock is 2/3 expired then the game is only 16 minutes. Factor in time on the bench and even lebron is only playing 14-15 minutes a night... WEARING SHOES. In the NHL Playoffs, the best players play and they play a lot.<br /><br />4. <strong>The Best Players Make Clear That They Are The Best Players.</strong><br /><strong></strong><br />In four games Alex Ovechkin has 8 points. Extrapolated over an entire season and <em>Alex the Great</em> would total 164 points which is unheard of outside of Gretzky's tenure. What is even more amazing about that stat is those 8 points place Ovechkin 3rd in scoring. In 2nd sits his talented centerman, Nik Backstrom, whom I hold to be the most valuable centerman in the league with or without Alex. Without much effort you can guess whose first - If you guessed anyone other than Sidney Crosby then, well, its nice to know there are other Ranger Fans reading this. Crosby has 11 points in 4 games. Watching Alex, and Sid, and Nik (who i truly do believe to be on their level and would fully support the rangers making an offer sheet for) perform thus far has been only minimally about their points, and moreso about their presence. Teams are double and triple teaming the threeseome and in response, the three have simply raised their games. What's more exciting is that the two teams (Pens and Caps) are on a crash course to meet in the Eastern Conference Finals, which brings me to the last reason why the NHL Playoffs are just great.<br /><br />5. <strong>We Don't Have to Watch the Rangers</strong><br /><br />Use of the word "Rangers" here implies not only the NY team, but also all other NHL disappointments. In the playoffs, both teams show up to play every night. Stupid penalties are cut down, coaches demand accountability from star players, overpaid defenseman still play like all-stars, and young players with the potential to make a difference aren't buried on 4th lines. Instead, fans are treated to intense battles, palyers playing above their skill-levels, the emergence of future stars, poise in net reminiscent of Roy and Brodeur (in his hay day). During the NHL playoffs, if you watch a game you get the classy Wings, the unsolvable Penguins, the forceful Capitals - there's no empty-arena-panthers, no mis-managed Tampa Bay Lightning, no teams from Columbus. Only the best of the best actually make it to the NHL Playoffs - there are no Charlotte Bobcats, and their presence makes for great action appreciated by even the most nay-saying hockey detractors.<br /><br /><strong>OTHER NOTES</strong><br /><strong></strong><br />My pussy liberal friend joked to me that Oprah was on Obama's shortlist to replace Justice Stevens - I believed him.<br /><br />People give Tiger Woods a hard time but Marv Albert is still announcing prime time basketball.SC Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08521995281529578201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3918866583534606905.post-82667434941415544922010-04-11T15:48:00.001-07:002010-04-11T16:17:28.694-07:00Shockingly, Tiger Finishes Masters With a Round at 69<strong><em>Post #3 Volume #2</em></strong><br /><strong><em></em></strong><br /> The tiger sage really keeps getting better. Every lull is briskly followed by a more shocking than the last revelation. She was a stripper? She was 21? He was on ambien? He TEXT MESSAGES? He's well-endowed? He likes threesomes???? The tiger story in chart firm would be a straight line from the 3rd to the 1st quadrant.<br /><br /> "Listen everyone: I fucked up. At first I was strong; able to resist the constant barrage of sexual opportunities. But one day i got weak, i got lonely, i got careless. On that day i gave in, and once i gave in i started to find ways to excuse my behavior each time until i got so deep into it that it simply stopped seeming wrong. But it was wrong and I'm sorry to all those hurt by my actions. But what i need you all to understand, and perhaps even embrace, is that the situation I was in was nearly impossible to navigate cleanly. I'm only a man and like many others, I succumbed to temptation. I am not addicted to sex nor do i believe that sex can become an addiction. What i do believe is that I was addicted to the excitement that my life entailed, and worse off, had absolutely no means or hope of escaping the clutches of being desired. So I ask that we move on. Rather than treating me like a celebrity, treat me like a man. Judge me if you will but please, i fucked up, lets move on."<br /><br />Had Tiger's first response to all this awesome commotion been what you read above, i'm confident that more people would hold a sentiment similar to mine in regards to the worlds best golfer, and the worlds only golfing draw. That sentiment is sympahty: Deep, dark, undying sympathy. The manner in which the stories of Tigers' romps have been regurgitated by the national media have made him seem like a ambien-dropping, sex-driven machine. However, a quick look at the play-by-play of the events, and how they've unfolded, clearly demonstrates that there was a lot more in play here than just a "Randy Johnson".<br /><br />Just a few days ago, we heard that Tiger had sex with his 21 year old neighbor. <em>Oh how could you tiger, you evil evil man</em>. Truth is, there are few straight men who don't at least get excited by the prospect, and while most married-with-children men might resist once, perhaps even twice, upon the third flaunting of young flesh those previously resilient men would instantly begin dropping like flies. And that's if this hypothetical man was, say, out at a bar, in a collegetown, etc... But with Tiger, the circumstances was far more dire. Tiger literally could not leave his driveway without having a girl clearly indicate her desire to sleep with him. Imagine knowing in the back of your head that the second you walked into a perkins, some girl was going to be dropping her set in your face... every time. Tiger's life would make the perfect story for a crappy horror movie where the main character knows that someone's watching them at every corner, waiting to pounce, and that no matter how smart or crafty he or she could be... there was simply NO... WAY... OUT!<br /><br />What would you do if you woke up for work, walked out of your apartment and got into the elevator only to have a woman instantly start reaching for your shit. And then when you get to starbucks for your coffee, the barista slips you her number on the back of a naked picture of her. You get to work, and your secretary comes in and deliberately bends over in front of you. You call your counterpart in the berlin office and she starts talking dirty to you. You leave your office for the airport and the security guard gets a little too personal. Then on the airplane, the middle aged mom with the fake rack sitting next to you decides to cover you <strong>BOTH</strong> with the blanket. When you get off the plane, michael jordan is there to pick you up in a limo with half a dozen topless strippers who are already drunk and acting frisky. You get to your hotel and the concierge, while handing you your key, sensually rubs your hand and looks at you licking her lips. Finally when you get up to your room, after only narrowly avoiding the two college girls in short-shorts walking into the room across from you who while giggling invited you in for a drink, your gorgeous swedish super model wife is spread eagle on the couch waiting for you to "end her day".<br /><br />Sounds nauseating. Shockingly, if you imagine this being your life DAY AFTER DAY, this otherwise awesome story sounds tiresome, annoying, and downright miserable. How many days of this could the average man withstand before managing to convince himself that "ok just this one time" won't do any harm. Makes you understand why Tiger resorted to sleep medications. Perhaps in Tiger's dreams women leave him alone.<br /><br />Poor Tiger literally could not leave his driveway without having a girl chase him down. Tiger's life became a shitty, never-ending, axe commercial. So enough of the criticism. Enough of the "holier than thou, how could you" approach that all you sinners use to make yourselves feel more righteous. Few if any men can truly understand the plague that became Tiger's life. Rather than looking at him as an asshole, we should sit in prayer and hope this poor man can one day return to a life where vaginas didn't fall from the sky and where even your masters scorecard prods at your sexual escapades.<br /><br /><strong>Other Notes</strong><br /><strong></strong><br />General Tso/Chao is a deragatory term given to a poor sustinence farmer in undeveloped china. But the chicken is awesome so who cares.<br /><br />The Arnold Palmer ESPN Commercial is nothing short of awesome.<br /><br />Walking around outside in summer seems like a great idea until summer comes.<br /><br />If 1/10th of Central park was dedicated to growing vegetables which were then sold to street vendors, NYC could afford to run the MTA as an effective agency rather than the mockery that its become. I have an easier time getting a train at 4 A.M. than P.M.SC Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08521995281529578201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3918866583534606905.post-72502102073524577672010-04-08T14:26:00.000-07:002010-04-10T08:21:45.738-07:00Teetering on the Edge of Horribility<strong>Post #2 Volume #2</strong><br /><strong></strong><br />With two games left in the regular season, the Rangers actually control their own destiny - a term heard so often in sports but seldom accompanied with actual truth. The Rangers, who sit two points behind the 8th seeded Flyers play those same Flyers twice this weekend. Therefore, if the Rangers that beat the Maple Leafs 5-1 rather than those that lost to the Sabres 5-2 decide to show up for both contests, any other games will be completely and entirely irrelevant.<br />Despite the degree of my fandom, I do not hesitate to acknowledge that the Rangers as they are assembled now are simply not of the caliber necessary to win the Stanley Cup. Yes, there are a slew of prospects in the system capable of developing into the first line forwards the rangers need to adequately compliment Marian Gaborik (Chris Kreider, Ethen Werek, Evgeny Grachev, Derek Stepan to name a few), and yes the rangers show great promise on the blue line with a rapidly maturing Marc Staal, a future offensive weapon in Michael Del Zotto and several more impact players in the pipeline... but for now the rangers simply can't hack it amongst the best teams in the East, or for that matter the west.<br />Why? Well the answer is simple - the Rangers are too bottom heavy. Too many of the 12 forwards the Rangers ice each night belong on bottom two lines in checking-centric roles. Yet, despite these players' bottom six skills, the shortage of top six threats has caused Coach Tortorella to compensate by giving fringe NHL'ers like Erik Christensen, Brian Prust, Aaron Voros and other considerable top six time.<br /><br />But DC... what about Gaborik? Didn't he break his single season point record despite missing half a dozen games? And didn't his 85 and counting points far outnumber the 50 something that last years' leading scorer, Nik Zherdev, amassed in a similar total of games played?<br /><br />The short answer is yes. The long answer follows with a big, mcdonalds craving, no exercise getting but. The problem is that Marian is doing it all alone (duh!). But statistically, this claim garners much more credence. Fais-attention.<br /><br />The top five teams in the league, based on points accumulated, as of April 8th are:<br />Washington<br />San Jose<br />Phoenix<br />Vancouver<br />Chicago<br /><br />Due to a brew of unrelated reasons, the two teams in the last two cups - Wings and Penguins, are not in this list. However, assuming they will experience considerable success in the upcoming lord stanley's march, we can throw them into the group as further proof of the formula.<br /><br />What do all of these teams have: Each of these teams has 1 player in the top ten in scoring - we'll call them a top ten:<br /><br />Alex Ovechkin<br />Henrik Sedin<br />Joe Thornton<br />Patrick Kane<br />Sidney Crosby<br /><br />The coyotes are an exception, and have found a back-door to the playoffs. The Red Wings two stars who are typically amongst the top ten, Pavel Datsyuk and Henrik Zetterberg, are heating up just in time for the playoffs.<br /><br />Marian Gaborik is also a top ten (9th overall in scoring). The next crucial element is where the Rangers fall off. 5 of the 7 aforementioned teams also have a player in the top 20 in league scoring - we'll call them a top 20:<br /><br />Niclkas Backstrom<br />Patrick Marleau<br />Evegeny Malkin<br />Duncan Keith (we can assume Toews would have been up there if he played a full season. keith, a defenseman, is 24th in scoring)<br />Daniel Sedin<br /><br />Hovering immediately below are the two wings mentioned above - further proving the point. Looking down the standings, the teams you'd instantly pick to potentially do some damage in the playoffs both the same 1-2 punch (a top ten and a top twenty).<br /><br />The Devils have Kovalchuk at 11 and Parise at 18 for example.<br /><br />So what's the lesson? Well, until the Rangers can clear the cap room necessary to pay another top 20 to supplement the production coming from Marian, one of the league's most dominant players, they simply aren't a member of that echelon of teams widely considered to be contending for the stanley cup. For that reason, should the Rangers sweep the Flyers in this weekend's home and home, DCMSG reccommends taking it as a small step in the direction of future results, rather than a sign that the Rangers have even the slightest chance to compete against alex and nick's caps, especially in light of the fact that Mike Green and Alex Semin of the caps are likewise top 20's. Even more so given our primary counterparts to the caps 2 least dangerous, dangerous weapons are the very guys being paid to be top 20's - Wade Redden and Chris Drury, who combined this season have less points than the Capitals <strong>FIFTH OPTION, </strong>Brooks Laich!<br /><br /><strong>Other Notes</strong><br /><strong></strong><br />Shut up Oprah. Please... Shut up.<br /><br />The 6 train is proof that racism is acceptable underground<br /><br />If you kill an ant it will probably come back to life just to piss you off later.SC Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08521995281529578201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3918866583534606905.post-27036504874126881942010-04-08T14:14:00.000-07:002010-04-08T14:26:15.357-07:00And We're Back<strong>Post #1 - Volume #2</strong><br /><strong></strong><br /><strong><em>Back by Popular Demand</em></strong><br /><strong><em></em></strong><br /> Almost a year having passed since I last bestowed my brilliance upon my faithful readers, I must admit that continuing or perhaps "restarting" dcmsg was amongst a slew of things furthers from my mind. All that changed this morning when a little birdie named "deserved recognition" appeared on my doorstep in the form of my only other jewish friend from college, and the proud owner of the world's largest big toe (as of yet unregistered with Guinness).<br /> I never really expected word of my blog to spread far and wide, let alone at all, but by some mysterious grace of god's glory, April 8th of the year 2010 marks the first time DCMSG received national recognition. The following is an exact transcript of our conversation "note the google nickname i gifted him":<br /><br /><em>9:35 AM E-Toe: dude<br /> your stupid blog is linked from deadspin<br /> me: ?<br /> E-Toe: </em><a href="http://deadspin.com/5511973/villanova-syracuse-and-the-case-of-the-impregnated-girlfriends?skyline=true&s=i"><em>http://deadspin.com/5511973/villanova-syracuse-and-the-case-of-the-impregnated-girlfriends?skyline=true&s=i</em></a><br /><em>9:36 AM go down to the link that says syracuse team<br />9:37 AM someone commented Hey. Click that "Syracuse team" link if you hate yourself.<br /> me: HAHAH no shit<br />9:38 AM whats deadspin<br /> E-Toe: youve never heard of deadspin?<br /> its like the most famous sports blog<br /> they have broken tons of stories</em><br /><br /> So there you have it... or do you??? Turns out, the national media wasn't done with my quaint little blog, as referenced by this later conversation with my same friend now known to you as e-toe; Behold:<br /><br />E<em>-Toe: what the hell is goin on here<br /> me: ?<br />2:06 PM E-Toe: now troy nunes is an abosulte magician is quotign your stupid blog<br /> </em><a href="http://www.nunesmagician.com/2010/4/8/1411271/big-east-news-notes-arrests#storyjump"><em>http://www.nunesmagician.com/2010/4/8/1411271/big-east-news-notes-arrests#storyjump</em></a><br /><em>2:07 PM me: im a star<br /> fuck yea<br /> WHOO<br />2:08 PM E-Toe: haha<br /> me: where have i heard this before - meaning hes a regular<br /> y way<br /> E-Toe: haha<br /> </em><a href="http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100408/ap_en_tv/us_tv_jersey_shore_copycat;_ylt=ArFRyO_.X2r.7Fo32bYOvbJxFb8C;_ylu=X3oDMTJyb3ZscHR1BGFzc2V0A2FwLzIwMTAwNDA4L3VzX3R2X2plcnNleV9zaG9yZV9jb3B5Y2F0BGNwb3MDMgRwb3MDNARzZWMDeW5fdG9wX3N0b3J5BHNsawNqZXJzZXlzaG9yZXA"><em>http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100408/ap_en_tv/us_tv_jersey_shore_copycat;_ylt=ArFRyO_.X2r.7Fo32bYOvbJxFb8C;_ylu=X3oDMTJyb3ZscHR1BGFzc2V0A2FwLzIwMTAwNDA4L3VzX3R2X2plcnNleV9zaG9yZV9jb3B5Y2F0BGNwb3MDMgRwb3MDNARzZWMDeW5fdG9wX3N0b3J5BHNsawNqZXJzZXlzaG9yZXA</em></a><em>-<br />2:09 PM this is gonna be the worst show ever</em><br /><br /><em>8 minutes</em><br /><em>2:17 PM me: does nunes' blog get a lot of viewers?<br />2:18 PM E-Toe: i mean in terms of syracuse blogs<br /> its a really good blog<br /> me: hmmm iu like it<br /> E-Toe: the guy who writes is really funny<br /> me: im on the toip of my game<br /> dust off the bloggin shoes<br /> E-Toe: yea its aweosme<br /> please dont</em><br /><br /> Now as you can probably tell - e-toe is not an "open" fan of DCMSG; rather, he's maliciously lurking in the back of that large <u>closet</u> of his. Well i say this - FUCK YOU E-TOE - you know you're reading this so therefore I win... again.<br /><br /><strong>Other Notes</strong><br /><strong></strong><br />Troy Nunes apparently doesn't actually write the Troy Nunes blog. How do i know this? because at the end of the column in which he referenced my masterful stroke of keyboard, he said something along the lines of "this is why you should never have a girlfriend." WILL THE REAL TROY NUNES PLEASE STAND UP. When i was a freshman at Syracuse, there was one girl out of 8500 that every guy knew. Her name was marcy and she was the captain of the dance team. She was a senior and she was really really attractive - i mean really. Oh, and she dated Troy Nunes... <em>the real one</em>.<br /><br />Is anyone else not excited at all at the prospects of a Sandra Bullock sex-tape?<br /><br />Is anyone else surprised that Sandra Bullock's name isn't actually Sondra Bullock?<br /><br />Who the hell is two boots to charge 3.75 for a slice of plain, shitty pizza.SC Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08521995281529578201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3918866583534606905.post-88597585998453741132008-09-24T11:21:00.001-07:002008-09-24T11:21:53.756-07:00All Brett out of Shape<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Post #3 Topic: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">What did you REALLY expect?<o:p></o:p></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><o:p> </o:p></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>No one ever claimed that playing in New York was easy. Ask Carlos Delgado just how quickly New York fans can decide to hate you, grow to love you, abandon you and then find room in their tainted hearts for you once again. Ask Jaromir Jagr how many goals it takes to get the crowd back on your side and he’ll answer… <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">1</b>, which is not so strangely the same amount of games where if you fail to score your mere presence will garner boos. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Ask John Starks how many three pointers you need to miss in one NBA Finals game before fans will ignore your first and only all-star season and label you for quarantine, and you’ll think he was in cahoots with #68. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>Then change the frame of your questions, and ask Eli what an athlete must do to coerce his city’s fans to develop an infinite allegiance and he’ll tell you win a title. Ask Mark Messier if he felt rushed to retire given his increasing age, decreasing production, and receded hairline and he’s sure to reply no.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Simply stated, once you win a championship in New York, you’ve successfully insulated yourself from the undulating waves of emotions that have both blessed and plagued the careers of some of the most talented athletes to step foot in the big apple, including Starks, Delgado, and Jaromir (ok maybe not Starks but for arguments sake just go with it Jim). </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>When Brett Favre signed as a Jet he was an instant hit. Fans adored his charisma, admired his accomplishments, honored his records and praised Green Bay brass for even considering letting the almighty Brett escape the confines of the l’etat du fromage en route to a Wranglerless wilderness named NYC. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>Now the Jets find themselves 1-2, facing the potential perils of a lost season – and nothing in sports is more difficult than showing up in weeks 8-18 to get your ass beat into the ground, already knowing that the chances of a playoff birth are grim if not extinct. But realistically Jets fans…. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal">What did you expect</b>, how much better did you envision that Brett Favre could make this team? Perhaps you expected them to catapult to the top of a suddenly intriguing AFC East? Maybe a wildcard birth? Maybe you just went with your gut and predicted super bowl<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>as so many of you ignorantly did even before Brady’s season was over. But what you didn’t do is look into the pudding which as Confucius tells us, is often where the proof lies. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>In 2007 Brett Favre had a 66.5% completion rating which placed him 4<sup>th</sup> in the league behind efficiency stalwarts Drew Brees, Tom Brady and not entirely ironically, Chad Pennington. Favre likewise finished 4<sup>th</sup> in yards, ranking behind two of the aforementioned three, exchanging only Chad for Tony Romo… but fuggeddhaboddit.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>In touchdowns Favre finished ranked 6<sup>th</sup>, due partially to the anomaly of a season produced by Derek Anderson, and the fact that Ben Roethlisberger is, like Favre, a super-bowl winning quarterback. Combining all these and other relevant statistical conclusions we get the suggestive but confusing “quarterback rating” – a race in which Favre once again finished 6<sup>th</sup>. Average his ranking over these 4 crucial categories and we can, despite some argument, say that Brett Favre was the 5<sup>th</sup> best QB in the league last year, and in doing so, declare that he was a wonderful acquisition.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>But as physics demand, as time goes, we grow older, gravity runs its course, our bones begin to ache and our athletic prowess shrinks like a dick out of the pool; quickly, suddenly and sometimes resulting in nothing but embarrassment (Seinfeld). Look at Brett’s 2006 performance:<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>26<sup>th</sup> best completion percentage, 6<sup>th</sup> in yards (typically his strongpoint), in a 4 way tie for 13<sup>th</sup> in touchdowns, and <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">25<sup>th</sup> in quarterback rating</b>, behind the likes of Rex Grossman, Alex Smith, J.P. Losman and <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">MICHAEL VICK</b>… remember him. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>So which one was the anomaly? The terrible 2006 year or the great 2007 year? The two Green Bay teams were essentially identical with nothing but several parts being “fine-tuned” in ’07. Statistically speaking, 2006 was the bottom of what had been a several-year progression towards being “too old” to be Brett Favre. So, with logic as our friend and enemy (frienemy), we can conclude that the ’07 might have been somewhat of a “second (perhaps third) wind” for Mr. Favre, a fact which in stating their expectations, Jets fans refused to acknowledge. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Even averaging the two seasons’ statistical output we’re left with a “serviceable quarterback”. But Chad Pennington was serviceable.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>Nonetheless Brett was anointed the savior of a team just one year removed from a season worth forgetting. Given the weight of New York (which is heavier than the weight of the world, convincingly defeating the sum of the parts is greater than the whole argument… I think). But what were jets really expecting? An improvement over Brett’s previous year, miraculous performance in which he turned a decent core of receivers into a weekly threat? You don’t need the MNF staff to tell you that Coles and Cotchery aren’t quite Jennings and Driver. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>SO in any other city I’d say lay off Jets fans. Let Brett complete 30 of 45 passes for a few hundred yards a couple TD’s and perhaps one more interception. Let him lead you to a 8-8 season while you try to get the rest of the roster in order so that come the time when a true “Franchise QB” enters the equation, the parts are in place to MAKE him succeed. But you can’t do that in the big apple, where even the biggest signing in the history of the jets can go from wonderful to what the fuck in a new York minute.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Other Notes<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal"><o:p> </o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Is it just me or are girls slowly getting shorter and shorter….</p> <p class="MsoNormal">If you combine a google phone and an iphone do you get a googlyeye phone…. Because that would be sweet.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">A real steak lover is someone willing to eat it with a spoon.</p>SC Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08521995281529578201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3918866583534606905.post-31861392933857575952008-09-16T08:55:00.001-07:002009-06-04T13:08:18.909-07:00A Krusty Situation<p class="MsoNormal"><b><br /></b></p>SC Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08521995281529578201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3918866583534606905.post-16223790445460190892008-09-15T11:14:00.000-07:002009-06-04T13:09:11.423-07:00The Times.. They are a changin!<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:7;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 48px;"><br /></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><b><span style=" ;font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:12pt;">Topic #1(2) - Witchcraft.</span></b><span style=" ;font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span style=" ;font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:12pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span style=" ;font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:12pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I am stealing this topic straight from the headlines of ESPN.com - so sue me. Recently (yesterday), soccer fans were murdered in the Congo during their efforts to escape from a stadium engulfed in riotous riots. Turns out that one of the players (with a nearly unidentifiable name), feeling that his teamneeded an edge over the competition, reverted to one of the most common forms of game manipulation outside of steroids... YES, witchcraft. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span style=" ;font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:12pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>Turns out that the COngolians believe in "fetish-casting". As per wikipedia, fetishism involves givinghuman powers to inanimate objects. During the game, with his team down, click-click-smoke signal decided to cast a fetish on the opposing team. This in itself does not signify the end of the world.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span style=" ;font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:12pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>Rather, it was the reaction of the authorities that suggests... They know something we don't know. Seeing this athlete (the goalie nonetheless) cast a "fetish", the police stormed the field to prevent him from casting the fetish. From this we can deduce that Congoite police believe in this tomfoolery. But again, this on its own does not signify the end of the world. No instead, it was the reaction of the fans.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;text-indent: .5in;line-height:normal"><span style=" ;font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:12pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>When the police attempted to stop the witchcraft, fans became so outraged that they started throwing rocks (which apparently replace popcorn at concession stands in the congolympics) at the cops... hijinx ensued. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>And they say New Yorkers are the best fans in the world (and phili fans the worst). As of yesterday I would have to disagree and say that the pedastel belongs to the Congolese. These fans love their squads so much<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span style=" ;font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:12pt;">that they're willing to permit witchcraft if it helps secure a victory. And don't dare stand in their way, because as Bob Dylan so mercifully preached - everybody must get stoned. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span style=" ;font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:12pt;">So the secret is out - there is such thing as witchcraft and the world is going to end. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Think about the possibilities! Can you imagine turning on ESPN only to find out that Tiger's old caddie has admitted that Tiger has been using witchcraft all these years to win tournaments - and to think John Daly quit drinking to become more competitive... what a waste, what a quitter! I can see it now, "<b><i>Barry Bonds escapes </i></b> <b><i>incarceration; explains that witchcraft and not steroids made his head so big</i></b>". <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The possibilities are endless - <b><i>NBA Referees acquitted of fixing charges when Former Congo</i></b> <b><i>Residents DJ Mbenga and Desagana Diop admit to having used witchcraft to help the </i></b><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><b><i>Lakers beat the Kings</i></b>. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;text-indent: .5in;line-height:normal"><span style=" ;font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:12pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Witchcraft... its like the cousin coming out of the closet that you never expected, and are suddenly forced to deal with. Witchcraft; its here, its certainly queer, and it signals the end of the world.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span style=" ;font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:12pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span style=" ;font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:12pt;">NEXT ENTRY: Weird subway fundraising techniques. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt;line-height: normal"><span style=" ;font-family:Georgia, serif;font-size:12pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal"><span style="font-family:"Georgia","serif";mso-bidi-Times New Roman"font-family:";">Other Sports Notes:<o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:"Georgia","serif";mso-bidi-Times New Roman"font-family:";">Hockey season is starting in three weeks… <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:"Georgia","serif";mso-bidi-Times New Roman"font-family:";">The Mets are the best 7-inning team in baseball.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:"Georgia","serif";mso-bidi-Times New Roman"font-family:";">Sam Cassell is still… the ugliest player in the NBA.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:"Georgia","serif";mso-bidi-Times New Roman"font-family:";">Chad Johnson might be able to beat Michael Phelps in swimming, but Michael Phelps could start at any position for the Bengals. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="Georgia","serif"font-family:";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>SC Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08521995281529578201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3918866583534606905.post-76273324935539101622008-07-29T20:49:00.000-07:002008-07-29T20:50:35.095-07:00Le Retourne<p class="MsoNormal">Does anyone else love Jerry Manuel? I dare to ask what he’s smoking. This guy is having the best time i’ve ever seen a manager have. Jerry Manuel told a reporter that he wanted chicken fingers with A LOT of ketchup (ha ha ha)… Exactly… Jerry Manuel is on something and if anyone can direct me towards his dealer I’d be greatly obliged. Solution to the Mets problem is very VERY simple. Santana has been despite his record… an <b style="">ace.</b> Pelfrey has turned not into the legitimate #3 we hoped he would (replacing the <i style="">pending #2 (actually an ace) Kazmir</i>), but a solid, scary, reliable #2. That lets Olli slip to the less scrutinized #3 that allows him better matchups, Johnny Maine into the #4 where he can be the only 15 game #4 winner. All that is in the five is in the name… five (5) good innings and we’re thrilled… finally a use for Schoenweiss, and the rest of the three musketeers (all four of them). Oh and Pedro – best setup man in the league? Who wants to hit Pedro in the 6<sup>th</sup> and 7<sup>th</sup> night to night? By the way...Manny? Nah. Matt Holliday? Ehh… Lets see what Fernando can do (don’t see Alex Ochoa, Alex Escobar and REY ORDONEZ). The team is firing, the east is falling and the NL is a cemetery. Call it right place at right time but I…. yes I, love Jerry Manuel. </p>SC Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08521995281529578201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3918866583534606905.post-89687206316188912552008-05-12T19:52:00.000-07:002008-05-12T20:24:25.084-07:00Meet the Mets<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">Post #58 Topic: <i style="">That’ll be $12 and All Your Dignity</i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p><span style=""> </span>The Mets have sunk to an all new low. Tomorrow night, the Mets will be losing to the Nationals, and some poor schmuck will be sitting in the ratty <st1:street st="on"><st1:address st="on">23<sup>rd</sup> street</st1:address></st1:street> theatres watching the game, in a canola oil saturated seat, with his feet sticking to the floor, with his view obstructed by Mr. Met. To help you fully understand how <i style="">angry </i>this makes me, let me take you back.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>First of all, when the Rangers were playing the Penguins (more recent than it seems), the lovely folks at Madison Square Garden presented fans with the opportunity to watch the away games in the Ziegfield theatre, which apparently is a “New York Institution”, for the decent price of $40. The only thing sadder??? The stupid event sold out the night before the game. Anyway…</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Around 5:30 I got a message on my Gmail account from another Cardozo-attending Mets fan. There’s something about the jews that makes them love the mets – maybe its that like the Jews, the Mets have always been the underdogs or maybe its just because Jews are scared of the people that inhabit the streets surrounding Yankee Stadium. Either way, the conversation unfolded as follows (names have been changed to protect me)</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="nfakpe"><b>Jim</b></span>: <a href="http://newyork.mets.mlb.com/nym/ticketing/metsatmovies.jsp?partnerId=enymnl05072008" target="_blank">http://newyork.mets.mlb.com/nym/ticketing/metsatmovies.jsp?partnerId=enymnl05072008</a></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"> </span>some of us are gonna go if you're interested</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>me</b>: <span class="nfakpe">Jim</span>, i would rather choke on a gigantic… (words edited out for the sake of decency)<span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"> </span>but thank you for considering me.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Jim was mad. Jim thought that it was the idea of accompanying him to the event that caused me to suggest inhaling a dark falic object. I quickly informed Jim that it was instead the prospects of attending such an absurd event that caused my oral diarrhea. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>So you don’t have to click on that bullshit above, allow me to elaborate. For $12, Mets fans can watch an upcoming game at a neighborhood movie theatre. During the game, fans will be able to purchase stadium-like concessions (uhhh… you mean soda and popcorn douchebag?), compete in between-inning trivia (sweet, you mean 200 drunk people yelling out “Mike Piazza” which for nostalgia’s sake is bound to be the answer to at least ½ of the questions), and get this… the kicker, all fans in attendance get to meet Mr. Met. That’s right, the Mets have paid some high school kid to get so baked that he actually thinks he is Mr. Met, and walk around greeting unsuspecting fans who - due to Mr. Met’s costume having only 4 fingers - don’t realize that where it counts Mr. Met is gladly flipping the bird. Yup, Mets at the Movies, the end of the fucking world – I’m pissed.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>me</b>: watch a Mets game in a grimy movie theatre for more than it costs to go to a game... how about you pick a game, any saturday or sunday day game or friday night game, and ill get tickets and we can go<span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"> </span>and ill even rip your stub like we're in the movies. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Any Mets fan can attend Mets at the Movies for $12. Any non-severely retarded Mets fan can get tickets to ANY HOME GAME, on Stubhub for <b style="">$2</b>. Yeah that’s right, 2 measly bucks gets you entrance into the <i style="">actual </i>event, whereas $12 forces you to hear how awesome Speedracer was when you get stuck in the exit crowd while trying to escape the whining babies in the 4<sup>th</sup> inning. What does misery sound like in <b style="">Dolby Surround</b>?</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>me</b>:<span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"> </span>and that <st1:street st="on"><st1:address st="on">west 23rd street</st1:address></st1:street> theatre BLOWS</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Seriously, this is one of the worst theatres in the world, and I’ve actually been EVERYWHERE. The seats are on a nearly-flat plane, there are no head supports, the armrests are too thin, there is nowhere to rest your feet and it smells like ass. Plus, you have to crank something to get sound to come out and the projector isn’t sufficiently technologically advanced to play <b style="">motion</b> pictures. This theatre sucks, got lost in time, left behind by the <st1:street st="on"><st1:address st="on">42<sup>nd</sup> street</st1:address></st1:street> behemoths that so conveniently forced the hookers and trannies to seek refuge in my otherwise quaint little neighborhood – the <b style="">b</b>est village. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>me</b>: yes ive seen those ads for this on the mets broadcast, and not to impose my feelings but it makes me sick<span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);">. </span>Sucking money out of people by charging them $12 to watch a game in a Dungeness theatre,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">crooks!</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>No such thing as half-way crooks, only the real full-blown crooks, the same ones who sign Roberto Alomar and Mo Vaughn for ridiculous deals and then pass the cost on to customers through elevated parking prices and absurd handling fees when ordering tickets. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>me</b>: and just getting people used to the fact that once Citi field opens they wont be able to afford a day at the stadium very sad.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>It’s true people, Citi Field will be a luxury experience that only the luxurious will be able to afford. The stadium has 10,000 less seats and if you think they’re eliminating 10,000 bleacher seats well then you belong at Mets at the Movies. As recently as three years ago you could get into Shea for $2 if you brought a Coke can and a student I.D.. Now, the cheapest you can get is a $5 upper deck seat for 1 game against the Expos, sorry Nationals. Shea is getting really expensive.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>So what do they do? Simple! Find another way to extort people’s money. If people all of the sudden can’t afford to go to the stadium (they’ll probably segregate the sushi bar), they will cease being Mets fans – going to Shea is what a lot of lower and middle class families used to do for family activities because it was affordable – hardly anymore and before long not at all. So how do we keep these people around? By <i style="">essentially </i>expanding Citi Field. Bringing Mr. Met? Selling hot dogs? Mets trivia? Sounds an awful lot like the Mets are trying to fool people into thinking that the theatre is just an <i style="">extension </i>of the stadium.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="nfakpe"><b>Jim</b></span>: yeah that is heartbreaking the whole aura the mets have going for them is they're the team the underdogs can support<span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"> </span>its gonna be $300 for a family of 4 to go to a ballgame now</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>As do most people who read my blog, Jim was starting to come around.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>me</b>: yeah its absurd this movie thing is creating a bad precedent by equating watching elsewhere to being at the games - watch next year when you buy tickets, and enter your date, you have to select stadium or stadium <b style=""><u>satelite</u></b>.<span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"> </span>Pretty ingenious but downright fucking awful. They’re going to fool all these poor fans into thinking that the theatre is the stadium. (In a stoned, Matthew McConaughey from Dazed and Confused voice) It’s the movies… MAN!!! See with Citi field shrinking, there will always be demand for seats. The more lower income bracketers they can dump into the movie theatre, the more the stadium becomes an elitist colony, and the higher prices they can charge. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="nfakpe"><b>Jim</b></span>: hahaha. I sense a blog coming on</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Jim had caught on afterall. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="nfakpe"><b>Jim</b></span>: no you're right. I hadn't taken the time to really think it out. I could watch it on my own television with a dog and a beer for $3</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b>me</b>: yes exactly</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="nfakpe"><b>Jim</b></span>: I guess they got me because a movie is $12 so it seemed fair and I've never been to that movie theatre because I'm allergic to the west side.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Mets at the movies huh? Is there any semblance of honor left in the world? Ironically the real winner here is the crappy movie theatre – here’s my logic. People start going to watch the Mets games at the movies. Eventually they start forgetting the difference and the Mets have created a way to essentially fit twice the capacity into Citi Field. Pretty soon people start walking by the movies and associating their passing by with Baseball – so they go in and catch a shitty flick. Strangely, the movie suddenly feels like a baseball game. Then, the person realizes they can get their baseball fix by going to the movies, and suddenly a former baseball fan is a Marvel comics fan. THEN (and this is the ultimate kicker) the next time they’re watching a game on tv, or debating going to the stadium,<span style=""> </span>they consider the 4 hr baseball commitment and decide instead that they’d easily be better off just catching a movie – take that Wilpon jackass bush league sucka. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">Other Notes<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><o:p> </o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">The Cavs-Celts game tonight (9/12) had the best single moment of announcing ever. As Lebron dunked over KG (by the way the Celtics are surprisingly soft and the Hawks suck), we hear… <b style=""><i style="">Lebron James WITH NO REGARD FOR HUMAN LIFE</i></b> – awesome!</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Mmmm I’m telling you now, the greatest thing you ever can do now, is trade a smile with someone who’s blue now, its very easy just-a.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Scientology is retarded. I get it, its not news. But, the other day I went to a scientology consultation and now I feel really bad for myself. L. Ron Hubbard is a creepy, <i style="">creepy</i> dude. Don’t believe me? <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L._Ron_Hubbard">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L._Ron_Hubbard</a>. Not to mention that they didn’t even let me go to the celebrity center – I had to go to the normal people one, next to the Subway and, well a subway. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Why is Charles Barkley not running for president. He’s amazing! And Sir Charles make Magic look like he takes the short bus. And he’s slightly better looking than Hillary. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">What came first the pillow or the mattress? Was a guy sleeping on hard ground with a pillow when he realized “man my head is so comfortable but my body is achy”. Or was that man sleeping on a mattress, spending sleepless nights trying to figure out where to put his head?</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Today I realized it was time to leave school when I dozed off face first into a plate of wasabi and soy sauce and was woken by the librarian, with crap all over my face, telling me not to eat in the library.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>SC Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08521995281529578201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3918866583534606905.post-87332413993319764492008-05-04T11:03:00.000-07:002008-05-04T11:04:08.701-07:00Thanks Hank<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">Post #57 Topic: <i style="">Money for nothing, Santana for free</i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>You need go back but a month to quickly become privy to my sentiments on the Mets acquisition of Johan Santana. Sure he hasn’t pitched santanaishly yet, and sure he’s given up a couple home runs (more than he should be giving up I know!). But Santana has always made his most impressive runs in the 2<sup>nd</sup> half, which based on the shaping up of things in the NL East, is when the Mets are most inclined to need him. Santana will win 16 games; he’ll strike out 150 batters and pitch 200 innings – minimum. What he will <b style="">NOT </b>be doing, is pitching for the cross-town Bronx Bombs.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>The fact that Santana is not pitching for the Yankees is quickly turning into one of the biggest jokes in baseball. Balls-deep in their pride, when given the opportunity to pull the trigger on Santana by including one of either Phil Hughes or Ian Kennedy (yes, only one of them, in addition to Melky Cabrera), the Yankees declined, claiming that “<b style=""><i style="">these were the cornerstones of the future Yankees</i></b>”. Ok, maybe Hank never actually said that, but based upon his actions (or omissions if you’re a shark) you can tell that he was thinking it. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>So the Yankees, who had all the offensive firepower that a team could ever ask for, went into the season relying heavily on what was for the most part, an unproven rotation. Chien-Ming Wang as their ace, and perhaps the only sure-thing amongst their starters, has been as good as advertised: 6-0, 3.00 E.R.A., and an uncharacteristic but pleasantly surprising 32 K’s. After that… well things aren’t so fine and dandy. Andy Pettitte’s been decent – 3-3 with a 3.93 E.R.A.. Mussina, although 4-3, has been shaky at best with a 4.23 E.R.A.. Keep in mind that this is a team that paid 46 million dollars to bring Kei Igawa over from the orient only to see him buried in AAA Wilkes-Barre: anyone who has been to <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Wilkes-Barre</st1:place></st1:City> (myself) or perhaps seen the office knows that Wilkes Barre is no choice place to be buried!</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>But the Yankees didn’t need to worry about their veteran starting pitchers… did they? They had Phil Hughes, the one time #1 ranked prospect in all of baseball (according to Yankees Fans), and Ian Kennedy – the <b style=""><i style="">NEXT GREG MADDUX</i></b>. Well, as so very often is the case, Yankee management was <i style="">dead </i>wrong. 6 feet under wrong. That #1 ranked prospect? 0-4 with a stunning E.R.A. of 9.00 (only a run an inning!!!), and now found on the DL until what optimistic forecasters are calling July. And Kennedy? The piece that absolutely couldn’t be included in a trade for Santana? Well, he’d better speak Chinese because his new roommate Kei Igawa has a locker room reputation as being a motormouth. Kennedy earned his sudden $30 per diem and upscale motel 8 lodgings by commencing the season (in a very un Greg Maddux like fashion) 0-2 with an 8.37 E.R.A..</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>This is not me saying that these guys will never be good pitchers, not even me saying that they can’t become stars. It’s just me saying that… “wouldn’t Johan look so great in that rotation, after Wang?” The answer regardless of who you are is an emphatic yes. The Yankees could certainly have afforded to give up one of these “future aces” to bring in Johan. Instead they let him fall to the Mets at a bargain basement price. Imagine Wang, Santana, Pettite, JOBA with Mussina as your 5<sup>th</sup> starter, giving Hughes or Kennedy (whichever survived) a chance to hone their potential by pitching another year in <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Wilkes-Barre</st1:place></st1:City>. THAT… would be a formidable yankee team; that would be a team that the Red Sox would fear.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>But now the Red Sox can rest assured that in any given week, 3/5 of the Yankees scheduled starters are going to get roughed up. And should those starters exit before the 7<sup>th</sup>, that Kyle Farnsworth will be there to make matters worse – <b style=""><i style="">where’s Carl Pavano?</i></b> As for the Yankees; instead of worrying about catching the Red Sox, they’re worried about how they’re going to pitch to the suddenly potent Devil Rays – imagine the panic in the Bronx when the Rays get Kazmir back, realize they’re ACTUAL contenders, and sign Barry Bonds to plug the DH spot… then what are the Yankees going to do? </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Whatever they decide on as the appropriate course of action – they’d better do it quick. While the Yankees have the sluggers to keep them in games, they don’t have the starting pitching to get them into those games in the 1<sup>st</sup> place. Now the Yankees are hovering around .500, already distancing themselves from the wild card leaders. Yes! It’s early in the season, but the earliness of it all carries both positive and negative tidings (not of the yule distinction). Positive: the Yankees have time. Negative: the teams the Yankees are most likely to be competing with for that wild card spot come the tail end of the season, Cleveland, Detroit, Seattle, Chicago, etc., etc., etc… haven’t gotten their gears going yet either. The distinction: without Santana backing up Wang, the Yankees are left with the weakest rotation out of all those clubs.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>The Tigers have Bonderman, Verlander, Dontrelle, Nate Robertson, and the non-aging Kenny Rogers – a rotation far stronger than that of the Yankees. The Mariners have King Felix and Erik Bedard and Carlos Silva, three <i style="">horses </i>that although have yet to find their stride certainly soon will. The Indians have baseball’s best pitcher (outside <st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on">Arizona</st1:place></st1:State>) thus far into the season – Cliff Lee. With Fausto Carmona coming on strong and C.C. Sabathia showing signs of regaining his location, the Indians have perhaps the toughest front 3 in baseball. As for those Chicago White Sox, their rotation may not have as heavy an arsenal as some of the other teams just mentioned, but they do have one thing – WORLD SERIES EXPERIENCE, which but for a couple of roided out years nearly a decade ago, the Yankees rotation lacks entirely. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>So tell us now Hank, that the Yankees’ prospects were too good to include in a trade for Santana. When you’re done; tell us how you plan to restore the once young and suddenly aged and moldy Yankees rotation back to respectability.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">Other Notes<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><o:p> </o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Jagr is next to godliness. Should he not be back next year, he will sorely be missed.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Fish genocide: learn about the history to prevent it in the future.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Sushi – always delicious, even when its not. </p>SC Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08521995281529578201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3918866583534606905.post-73283294410130901022008-05-02T21:44:00.001-07:002008-05-02T21:44:47.380-07:00Lets Go Rangers a.k.a. Crosby Sucks<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">Post #56 Topic: <i style="">1 down 3 to go</i><o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><o:p> </o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Twice in the storied history of the NHL has there been a case where a team down 3-0 in a best of 7 series has been able to sport a comeback, and take said series. This statistic suggests that what the Rangers are attempting to do is not <i style="">actually </i>impossible… just incredibly difficult. Unfortunately, what that statistic fails to consider is that those other miraculous comebacks did not take place against a team boasting 2 of the league’s 3 most dominant players. Yes, the Penguins have 2 of the NHL’s 3 most prized competitors – Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin – both of whom are firing on what somehow earned the distinction of being “all cylinders”. By no means are the Rangers a lackluster team; we could never accurately claim that the Blueshirts don’t have their own arsenal of explosive firepower; and in the experience department the Rangers’ skaters certainly take the proverbial cake. But as delicious as cake may be, it doesn’t help come back from a 3-0 deficit, especially not when the trailing team is, as we speak, leaving on a Jet plane with the fear that they might be back, playing golf, all too soon (Rest in Peace John Denver, who was <b style="">never ever </b>full of shit).</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>So the odds are stacked… so what? Who cares? Big deal!!!! Crazier things have happened, especially in the wide world of sports. Mahmoud Abdul Rauf got a technical foul for an uncontrollable tourrette’s syndrome outbreak during an otherwise normal rendition of the national anthem. Well that’s about all I can think about but still it brings validity to the whole crazier things have happened concept. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>After game 3, in which the Rangers clawed back from a 2 goal deficit only to draw a stupid penalty and allow the insatiable Pen’s power play unit to crack the game wide open again, the mood surrounding the team was somber at best. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Would game 4 be Brendan Shanahan’s last in an NHL jersey? Did the Rangers defense need a complete overhaul (different topic for a different day)? Would Jaromir Jagr be playing his last game in the garden, for the team that he helped revitalize after a decade of underachieving and overpaying? Would Tom Renney be blamed for falling short again and find the axe, leaving the best job in the NHL vacant? Would the signings of Chris Drury and Scott Gomez result in a regression rather than the expected progression, leading fans to question the worth of the enormous investment? The mood surrounding the team, in the press, on tv, and in the minds of fans reflected that after just 60 more minutes of hockey, a year that will hopefully for a long time be remembered as the year the Rangers finally cashed in on their poised drafting and young talent development, could like a match in the wind be effortlessly extinguished. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>The sentiment was infectious, almost impossible to ignore. Magically, there were several Rangers who seemed un-phased by the state of things, and provided a hint that this team may, just may not have been entirely finished.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>The Captain, who as DCMSG forecasted after mid-season saved himself for the playoffs acknowledged that his next game could be his last, but swore that his team remained full of fight. Young center, Brandon Dubinsky, who almost overnight has turned into one of the leaders of this mostly young ranger team mentioned that “these were the types of situations were good hockey players were supposed to step up”, as passed along to him earlier in the year by the man they call “Shanny”. And then there was Henrik, the King, who left us with: <b style=""><i style="">“Every year it doesn’t happen, it gets closer to the day that it’s going to happen again”</i></b>. Lundqvist was referring to the inevitability that one day, a team would again return from a 3 game deficit to advance to the next round. Although it’s too early to make any promises, too foolish to provide opponents with any extra motivation – Henrik may have been onto something.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Courtesy of some “higher powers” (the Russian Mafia), I was fortunate enough to attend game 4. Seeing as anyone reading this has most likely already read the papers, I’ll leave my summary short and sweet. The garden was rocking – louder than it’s ever been (not an exaggeration, the papers seemed to agree). At no point did the game go more than 2 minutes without a raucous chant from the crowd – from the basic Jagr chant, to the traditional Hen-Rik, to the “Crosby Sucks”, voices were lost in unison. Hen-rik stood on his head. Marc Staal’s ability seemed to progress another year’s worth, placing his talent-age at nearly 50. Petr Prucha showed flashes of the 30 goal scorer that he was not too long ago. Brenadn Shanahan showed up to play for the first time in a few games. Oh, and then there was Jaromir, feeding off that energy he stored up during the regular season, getting involved on all 3 ranger goals (scoring 2), placing him alone at the top of the pack of playoff scorers. Man was Jagr good, double shifting nearly the entire game, taking the heat off of Scotty Gomez for having one of his more “invisible” games as a ranger. And now we go back to <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Pittsburgh</st1:place></st1:City> for game 5, hoping to, as Jagr said, “let ourselves play one more game”. And as demonstrated by their embarrassing conduct at the end of the 3<sup>rd</sup>, the Pens are clearly nervous, and certainly on their heels. The time to strike is now – the iron is hot and the Rangers have learned to exploit the Penguins’ biggest weakness – even strength. The time to climb back in for real is Sunday at 2 P.M. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>I have to comment again on the crowd. In one of my 1<sup>st</sup> posts I mentioned that I still get chills every time I walk into the garden. When the team you’re supporting is playing well, there is no place to be like the garden – it smells like sports. Game 4 was one of those rare moments in time when that initial chill lasts for the entire game. For the first time in years and years, it truly seemed that every person in attendance was a fan, and as mentioned above – the place was rocking. Corny as it may sound, events like this, when the excitement reigns so thick it can be bottled, makes a fan proud to live in <st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on">New York</st1:place></st1:State> and to be part of one of the greatest traditions in professional sports – being a stupid, obnoxious New Yorker. Hopefully the players captured some of that excitement and can use it in game 5 to open up an opportunity to play just one (but hopefully two) more games.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">Other Notes<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><o:p> </o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Chang! You’re not Chinese? This changes everything…</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Who is Johan Franzen? </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I have like ten packs of index cards in my desk drawer. Occasionally, when I’m feeling very motivated to study, I take them out and make note cards. Then they sit on my desk for two days. Then I start using them to hold chewed gum when I’m not near a garbage can. Then I throw them away. Then I realize I’m out of note cards and go buy more – evil empire shit. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">The guy at Petco, who is semi-retarded, knows an unbelievably ridiculous amount about algae. I’ve had a fish tank for 15 years and have this algae growing that I’ve never seen before. After a game of 20 questions, where I was asked whether the algae was more filamentous or coarse, forest or dark green, and rapidly spreading or just “normally” so, he identified my algae as a rare strain known as “black beard algae” – fucking pirates are taking over the world, one fishtank at a time.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Concussions are the new hangovers – if you didn’t get one you just weren’t partying hard enough.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Street benches are the new Apple stores. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Bud light tastes different every time you drink it. Tonight it was good. </p>SC Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08521995281529578201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3918866583534606905.post-87378602428665060102008-04-29T08:37:00.000-07:002008-04-29T08:49:29.670-07:00Anyone: Tyson, Jordan, JACKSON.<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">Post #55 Topic: <i style="">Right Guy – Wrong Role<o:p></o:p></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><i style=""><o:p> </o:p></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>After another tempestuous season, the Knicks have once again begun the search for the head coach that will lead them back to <st1:place st="on"><st1:placename st="on">NBA</st1:PlaceName> <st1:placename st="on">Glory</st1:PlaceName> <st1:placetype st="on">Land</st1:PlaceType></st1:place>. According to David Stern’s beliefs, if all goes well this year’s finals will involve the only team in the NBA that <i style="">truly matters</i>. Yes, when asked who his ideal finals would consist of, Scarsdale Native and member of dysfunctional commissioner’s club (populated by Gary Bettman, Paul Tagliabue and most recently, Roger Goodell) David Stern retardedly retorted: “<b style="">the lakers against the lakers”</b> </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Uness Stern meant Lakers vs. that other team that plays their home games in the Staples Center, the Clippers, he’s either delusional or all too lusional (yes it’s a word). Afterall, this past summer we saw <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Kobe</st1:place></st1:City> take on the entire Lakers organization and until Pao Gasol gets matched up against an NBA caliber center (not Nene or Kenyon Martin), we won’t truly know the victor of that oft-publicized battle of bullshit-land. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>If Stern had a 2<sup>nd</sup> choice, regarding who from the east he’d like to see play the Lakers, all hints suggest that he would give the nod to the Celtics. However, given the recent scare raised by the previously unheralded, young, exciting, and athletic Atlanta Hawks, fans are starting to believe that the Celtics will always be, regardless of who occupies their team bus, 1 Michael Jordan short of a championship – just ask DeShawn Stevenson’s awkward beard; there is only <b style=""><i style="">one</i></b> Michael Jordan. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Stern’s 3<sup>rd</sup> choice would certainly be the Knicks. The Knicks have all the makings of an NBA cash cow: a fan base who’s loyalty would magically reappear the second their record rose above .500 for what would feel like the 1<sup>st</sup> time since Willis Reed roamed the garden hardwood, a huge television market, and the ability to use a championship run to validate going ever further above the dollar for dollar luxury tax fringe. To put it in Laymen’s terms (or maybe Layden’s terms), if the Knicks reached the finals people would watch.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>But you can’t just <b style=""><i style="">get</i></b> to the finals. No, you need to assemble the appropriate cast which requires bringing in the right GM to bring in the right team, the right coach to coach that right team, and finally… the right team. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">The GM position is an easy one to fill - Knicks fans would be thrilled with pretty much anyone who would pass up on French culinary expert Frederick Vice in the 1<sup>st</sup> round of the NBA draft, or be wise enough not to hinge the next 5 years of the team’s success on the deadly frontcourt duo of <b style="">Zach Randolph and Eddie Curry</b>, co-starting members of the all-ways disappointing team. The Knicks’ next GM has a simple job: let contracts expire, trade those pieces that still retain some value, keep Renaldo Balkman, Wilson Chandler, David Lee and <i style="">MAYBE…just MAYBE</i>, keep Malik Rose around for some veteran presence (assuming there’s not a SINGLE other team that would desire his services, given how terrible his experience has been in NY). Then, if all goes according to plan, the GM can field an aggressive offer for Lebron, D-Wade, Carmelo or Chris Bosh when their contracts expire in 3 more years. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Then there’s the coaching position, perhaps the most important element for a rebuilding team. The right coach will be young enough to relate to the young players, but old enough to know how the game was played before NBA locker rooms began doubling as munitions shops and tattoo parlors. The right coach will understand how to play an up-tempo game to keep pace with the Hornets, the Magic and the Jazz of the new NBA, but will also recognize a team’s defensive deficiencies and how to cure them. The right coach will bring a fresh approach to the game that will force the players to learn a new system, rather than relying on the currently implemented one which so clearly doesn’t function as planned. But the right coach will also feel comfortable bringing in more experienced veteran assistant coaches (Herb Williams?) as the ship’s anchor. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">According to sources, including the New York Post and Rick Pitino, that man is Mark Jackson, one time point guard for almost every team in the league. <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Jackson</st1:place></st1:City> satisfies that bullshit, nonsensical “high basketball IQ” requirement, knows that defense comes first, understands the value of a pass first, ball movement oriented offenses, comprehends the effects of a cohesive unit and most importantly can help bring the fans back to the seats. Mark Jackson is the right person, being considered for the wrong ROLE. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that the NBA is once again shifting away from big man dominance (sorry D-Howard, Chris Bosh and Yi Yi Jianlian) to a little man’s game. The change began with Steve Nash who ushered in a new generation of court marshals who have elevated their clubs with fast play, heady offense, touchstone passing and when open, deadly penetration (the best type) – see Deron Williams, Chris Paul, Rajon Rondo (yes Rajon Rondo), Manu Ginobili/Tony Parker, etc., etc., etc…</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">To win, you need a good point guard. <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Detroit</st1:place></st1:City> never would have won without Chauncey Billups, the Lebrons would never have reached the finals but for Lebron, and the Spurs, well the Spurs are just too damn good (and may still be). So Mark Jackson is the right person for the Knicks – he’s just not being cast appropriately. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">As far as things go now, MARK JACKSON SHOULD BE THE POINT GUARD FOR THE NEW YORK KNICKS. I’ve said it once before and I’ll say it again, Stephon Marbury is the biggest running joke in all of <st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on">New York</st1:place></st1:State> sports. Bigger than the Jets, Bigger than Roger Clemens’ lying problem, bigger than the Madison Square Garden Ice – Stephon Marbury is the heart and soul of no heart and soul. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">And Jamal Crawford is not the answer. And neither is Nate Robinson. Neither of these guys can run an offense – Jamal is shoot first and Nate is panic first cry later; two roundball theories whose only homes are whatever court the Washington Generals are playing on and Rucker park. Neither guy plays defense. Neither guy is an efficient penatrator – Jamal because his handle sucks and Nate because he’s a dwarf. Neither guy plays effective defense and neither guy seems willing to learn. Mark Jackson will bring all of these elements and on top of that has a career average of approximately 5 rebounds per game. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">You may joke that Mark is old, but recall which point guard previously lead the Knicks to the finals. Forget? I’ll give you a hint; it wasn’t Starbury. <b style="">Derek Harper</b>! Before that? DOC RIVERS!!!! And who plays an awful lot like Derek Harper? Mark Jackson. Taking 25 shots a game out of the point guard’s hand will do wonders for the Knicks. It will force defenses to play closer attention to David Lee, who has shown that when given the minutes (Isiah felt inclined to limit him to 25 per), can be an efficient producer around the rim . Quentin Richardson can be an effective 3, so long as the ball isn’t being dumped to him from the top of the key – Q was effective when Nash drove and dished, an art that Mark Jackson is partially responsible for perfecting (see Reggie Miller). Even Zack Randolph can assume a more important role, collapsing defenses and leaving none other than MARK JACKSON open for the occasional 3/re-dump in – Mark Jackson brings every element that the Knicks have so desperately been missing. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">So if you’re reading this Donnie Walsh, you’re on the right track. But… should you acquire the services of Mr. Jackson, don’t forget he likes his shorts short.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">Other Notes<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><o:p> </o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Roger Clemens is a walking storyboard. Everytime his name comes up I get this urge to start penning a sitcom. Yesterday, Roger denied having a 10 year affair with a long time family friend and unfamed country singer. Today that country singer said Roger was lying – that they had an affair. Apparently Roger thinks he’s impervious to truth seekers. The Rocket – 8 PM on Tuesdays, UPN. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><o:p> </o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Scientific evidence suggests that its physically impossibly for a girl to not go to an 80’s party.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Set out runnin’ but I’ll take my time, a friend of the devil is a friend of mine. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Read this – this is the most insane story I’ve ever heard… If it weren’t for their delicious schnitzel I’d have lost all respect for <st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on">Vienna</st1:City></st1:place> - http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/europe/04/29/austria.cellar/index.html</p>SC Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08521995281529578201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3918866583534606905.post-47987902327811012582008-04-28T23:13:00.000-07:002008-04-28T23:15:45.869-07:00Cloudy With a Chance of Misery<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">Post #54 Topic: <i style="">Barry Zito<o:p></o:p></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><i style=""><o:p> </o:p></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>What does Barry Zito have in common with Jake Peavy, Roy Oswalt, Roy Halladay, and Carlos Zambrano, 5 of MLB’s most effective yet consistent starting pitchers? <b style="">ABSOLUTELY NOTHING</b>. In fact, Mr. Zito, the owner of a prestigious 7 year, 18 million/year contract gets paid more than 4/5 of these aces and just as much as Carlos Zambrano, who I note is only 26.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>What does Barry Zito have in common with K-Rod, Eric Gagne, Billy Wagner, Francisco Cordero, Joe Nathan and Mo Rivera? A lot more than he has in common with the guys in the previous paragraph, but still not that much. Zito gets paid at least 3 million more than each of these closers… and Zito has not a single save amongst his until recently, decent career stats. But still, there is that one common denominator, for Zito as well as these 5 other star pitchers… COME FROM THE BULLPEN. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Yes, Barry Zito and his $126 million contract have been relegated to the bullpen in what has quickly become the worst city in baseball, <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">San Francisco</st1:place></st1:City>. As the bay area’s 2<sup>nd</sup> most successful team, the Giants and their beautiful new Barry Bonds tainted ballpark have become significantly less relevant than other perennial loservilles, <st1:placename st="on">Tampa</st1:PlaceName> <st1:placetype st="on">Bay</st1:PlaceType> and <st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on">Pittsburgh</st1:City></st1:place>. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Get this. The next highest paid non-closing relief pitcher is Tom Gordon, who gets paid an inflated, but comparatively measly $6 million per season. In case you missed it earlier, Barry Zito gets paid 18 million dollars each year. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Zito was brought into <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">San Francisco</st1:place></st1:City> to be an ace. He had previously in his career had seasons as fantastic as 23-5, with an under 3.00 E.R.A. So far this year? 0-6 with a 7.54 E.R.A., fresh off his first full professional season with a losing record and less than 200 innings pitched. Think the Giants are regretting their investment? They sure as hell are. In what was a somewhat dry free agent pitching market after the 2006 season, the Giants went for broke. They gave Barry another year at an exorbitant price, and apparently expected Zito to be the final piece to a glaringly incomplete puzzle. Had Brian Sabean censored himself even somewhat, he could have preserved those funds to bring in: Tori Hunter, Vernon Wells, Alfonso Soriano, Roy Oswalt or Carlos Lee for even less money. But don’t teams need aces? Well, an ace is only as valuable as his offense enables him to be. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Case in point – <b style="">The San Francisco Giants</b>, who coincidentally have <b style="">two other aces</b> on their roster, under the age of 25. First, Tim Lincecum, the 23 year old <i style="">fire hurler</i>, who has shown signs that he can and will dominate in this league for years to come, who the giants pay<b style=""> </b>a fat $406,000. Last year Lincecum went 7-5 with 150 K’s in 146 innings and an E.R.A. of 4.00, impressive for anyone let alone a rookie. <span style=""> </span>Had the Giants put up more runs last year (amongst the last in the majors), Lincecum’s impressive numbers would have appeared far far more impressive. This year: 4-0 with a 1.23 with 36 K’s in 29 innings. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Take a look at Matt Cain, one of the few pitchers in all of baseball that throws harder than his teammate Lincecum. Cain is 24, in his 4<sup>th</sup> pro season, having thrown 200 innings in each of the past two years. If Lincecum’s numbers didn’t scream for more run support, then no one was listening (that whole tree in the forest dichotomy and sooner rather than later there will be noone in the park that Brian McNamee built). Last year Cain had 163 strike outs and 3.65 E.R.A. Brandon Webb, former Cy Young winner, had similar numbers to Cain, outperforming him minimally in both the innings pitched, strike outs and E.R.A. categories. Brandon Webb’s record? 18 and 10 for a toddler-ridden Arizona DiamondBacks team. Matt Cain went 7-16. <b style="">Pathetic.<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Where the hell was Giants management when these guys were tearing up the minors? I mean, they had to have been tearing up the minors right? Few if any pitchers come directly from the draft to make an impact in the major leagues, and those that do usually wind up grinding their teeth in a dumpster in harlem after a night of crack and tranny prostitutes (see Dwight “someone call a <b style="">Doc</b>” Gooden). Did Giants management have <i style="">so little faith</i> in their pitchers to validate foregoing the incessant recruiting of available power bats (Carlos Lee, Vernon Wells, Torri Hunter) to what was once a far more attractive place to play than any of the locales where those aforementioned sluggers eventually unpacked, in favor of an inning eater with questionable-at-best longevity?</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Thank god the Giants brought in Aaron Rowand, the offensive machine, because otherwise guys like Lincecum and Cain would be in trouble… oh wait, they are. Rowand deserves credit after his monster 2007 year in which he belted 27 long balls and drove in 90 RBI’s at the top of a potent but young and oft injured Phillies line-up. But these numbers were outliers. Prior to ’07, Rowand’s career highs were 24 homers and 70 RBI’s. Before that? 13 home-runs; clearly not the type of numbers you hope to get out of your largest offensive contributor. But the Giants couldn’t afford another major financial commitment, especially with their prospective revenue resting heavily on Zito’s ability to turn it around and become the 3<sup>rd</sup> cog in what <i style="">should have been </i>the most feared rotation in baseball. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">And things haven’t changed. This year the Giants are DEAD LAST in the NL in runs scored, trailing only <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Kansas City</st1:place></st1:City> in the weakest of the weak category. WHERE ARE YOU AARON ROWAND? Rowand has 1 home run to date, and but 10 RBI’s to his name. Probably not all his fault given that the team’s leader in OBP is Fred Lewis who was selling hot dogs and but plugs (bad <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">san Francisco</st1:place></st1:City> joke) as recently as last Thursday. Leading the team in Home Runs and RBI’s? Benjii of Molina Clown Car fame – the season looks promising.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">But not as promising as Zito looked. Money ball or no money ball, Billy Beane deserves more credit than he gets for his baseball wherewithal. Beane not only acquires great promising prospects, but he grooms them into reflections of major league players just in time to deal them off to unsuspecting, highly hopeful teams: Mark Mulder – MIA, Tim Hudson – effective but not the Ace he once <b style=""><i style=""><u>was</u></i></b>… One can only assume that Dan Haren will be setting up Brandon Lyon in no time at all (ok maybe this is a stretch – <st1:place st="on">Lyon</st1:place> doesn’t have closer stuff). Fortunately, one of several GM’s to catch onto Beane’s dirty dirty tricks is Omar Minaya, who although hesitantly, resisted throwing Zito-like money at this pitcher who was expected to be as dominant as that guy who used to pitch for the A’s – Barry Zito. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">But <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">San Francisco</st1:place></st1:City> fans take heed. Sammy Sosa is a free agent and still has a lot of pop left in his bat (look at his stats from last year… maybe this would help Aaron Rowand get some better pitches). And in case Sammy Sosa doesn’t cut it, there’s another offensive threat who recently returned to a Major league bench… for the 4<sup>th</sup> time in 4 years… And fortunately, with Smoltz, Glavine and Hudson, the Braves have no reason to hold onto your next savior, former 4 home run hitter and next highest paid pitcher in the worthless category… Mike Hampton.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">Other Notes<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><o:p> </o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Attn: Carmelo – GET THE HELL OUT OF <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">DENVER</st1:place></st1:City>… NOW. Sucks to lose huh? Imagine losing every year. You won at Oak Hill. I’m pretty sure but can’t really remember whether you won at cuse. Oh yeah, you did. You’re NOT GOING TO WIN IN <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">DENVER</st1:place></st1:City>. Not with Nene. Not with J.R. Smith. Not with Kenyon Martin (see Nets being swept twice by the Lakers) and not with A.I…. no one wins with A.I. The perfect place to go… the team that needs you most? The place that if all was fine and well in draft land you would have wound up anyway. A place where you can film your gang videos and be applauded for giving back to youth film classes – the Detroit Pistons.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Kosher Pizza? Come on, stop serving me this shit. Really, no one likes Kosher Pizza. More importantly, its only because its kosher that no one likes it. Truth is that it tastes almost like real pizza. So start buying the good stuff and slap a rabbi inspection sticker on it. No one will know the difference and if anyone found it they’d only thank you for it.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Extenze don’t work… or so my friends say. What’s the plural of extenze and can I play it in scrabble?</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Just when you think he’s done. Just when you think he’s reached the top. Just when you think he’s already done all the things that no one ever thought about because they were too ridiculous to even fathom to begin with, he goes and drops Tha Carter III on ya. Hint: check out <i style="">“A Millie”</i>, and if hip-hop is dead he’s the embalming fluid – 1 7 in ya face.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span></p>SC Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08521995281529578201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3918866583534606905.post-60681718504954156192008-04-20T12:25:00.001-07:002008-04-20T12:25:40.592-07:00Pope-season action<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">Post #53 Topic: <i style="">WTF Pope!<o:p></o:p></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><i style=""><o:p> </o:p></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>In case you’ve been buried under a rock for the past few days, or perhaps you just don’t care, the pope is in town. WHOO HOO! Now I promise to all of my readers (Steve) that I will do everything in my power to not make any religiously fueled comments in this here column, but please forgive me if my angst takes the place of reason.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>So I’m off from school for a week for Passover; some Jewish holiday (how am I doing?). Having no reason to stay in manhattan and pay $12 for crappy sushi lunch specials every day, I decided to take a ride home and spend my week in <st1:place st="on">Westchester</st1:place> studying for my finals (or at least planning what I will do when I actually do start studying). So the other day, after school, my friend picked me up at my apartment to drive me home. What usually takes AT MOST 45 minutes, took us a whopping 1:45 – completely unacceptable by any means. But these things happen. So I overlooked the traffic, deciding not to let anything interfere with my weekend of piece and quiet and homemade matzoh balls. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>But there was one more obstacle in my way before I could truly sink into my good old twin size bed and 12 inch, 15 channel getting TV (thankfully ESPN made the selective cut). For the first seder, I had to go to my aunt and uncle’s house in dirty jerz. Typically this ride takes us no more than 1:30 each way, which is the perfect amount of time to crank up some dark side on my pod and take a heady nap. After piling into the family car, we made a right onto <st1:place st="on">Mamaroneck</st1:place>, a right onto the hutch and merged onto the cross county parkway where the road usually opens up. And there it was again, insane traffic. Traffic so bad that there was traffic in the lane that lead to the highway that lead to the ramp that lead to the original highway (but a different direction). I’m not talking about your 20mph, bearable traffic… I’m talking not moving; I’m talking 2.5 hrs to get to the G-Dubs bridge when it should NEVER take more than 20 minutes. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>What was the source of all this traffic you ask? It wasn’t cloverfield, the bridge didn’t collapse, there was no 12-car pile-up and there was no truck fire. Nope… it was the pope. The pope, the father of the catholic religion decide to pick PASSOVER, the holiest of jewish holidays to visit new york, and with him came over a billion cars (no joke I counted). </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Having departed at 3 pm, and arriving at 6:30 pm, I was pissed. But not nearly as pissed as I was when we left New Jerz and discovered that an entire highway would be closed to guarantee the pope’s safe passage the next morning to the… get this… to the <st1:place st="on">BRONX</st1:place>. We left <st1:place st="on">Jersey</st1:place> at 10 pm, full from crappy food and forced familial conversation. We got home at 2:30 AM – I was and am still pissed. WTF POPE?</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Well thank god (get it?) for Sunday. Sunday was shaping up to be a great day of sports. For the 1<sup>st</sup> time, B-ball fans could see <i style="">just</i> how dominant Dwight Howard was. The result – 25 points, 22 rebounds and a couple million senses of defeat in <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Toronto</st1:place></st1:City> after but one game. How do I know this stat line? From ESPN.com. Why didn’t I watch it? BECAUSE EVERY GOSH DARN CHANNEL WAS SHOWING THE POPE. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>The Red Wings were supposed to play the predators at 3, on national tv, a rarity for the NHL. The Red Wings are perennial President Trophy Candidates, roll 4 vicious lines, have several of the NHL’s best defensemen of ALL TIME (Lidstrom, Chellios… KRONWALL (chron-vall)???), but mysteriously have been struggling as of late to get past the 1<sup>st</sup> few rounds. So I watched the game… on CBSSPORTSLINE.COM’s GAME TRACKER. Why??? Guess what was being shown on NBC? Not the NHL PLAYOFFS! Nope; CBS was showing the pope.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>My main man, my best friend from <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Syracuse</st1:place></st1:City>, my boy for life Carmelo Anthony was supposed to take on the Lakers at 3 PM on NBC. The Lakers are most expert’s favorites but I personally like the Nuggets behind a miraculous performance from Allen Iverson to come out on top in the series. THIS was a series I was looking forward to watching. A series for which I went out and bought a whole box of Pop-Secret Homestyle Popcorn (this is clearly the best microwave popcorn, if you haven’t tried it you’re missing out on life). Now, THIS is a series for which I am left anticipating game two – Thanks pope!</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Now I don’t know how long these things last. But from watching a few minutes I know two things – everyone in yankee stadium is asleep and the pope talks really really slowly. I hope, against all odds, that these two observations don’t imply that this thing is going to go all night – I really want to catch the Mets and Phils at 8. Amen. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">Other Nnotes<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><o:p> </o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Apparently Tomato Plants aren’t for sale until Mother’s day – thanks Dr. Zizmor.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">She’s an easy lover, she’ll take your heart but you won’t feel it.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I’ll call you on Wednesday.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">The rumors are true, the pope really does have a <i style="">sweet-ass </i>hat.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">And that Alien was Robin Williams – his name was mork.</p>SC Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08521995281529578201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3918866583534606905.post-8442148761573323202008-04-17T13:05:00.000-07:002008-04-17T13:17:05.483-07:00Tobacco is Whacko!!!<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">Post #52 Topic: <i style="">Sorry Steve<o:p></o:p></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><i style=""><o:p> </o:p></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Time to take a dip into DC’s well of incredible yet true tales of sport and/or leisure. Actually, this particular story is one that I myself had entirely forgotten about until the other day. Luckily, with the help of one of the <i style="">strangest </i>things I’ve ever seen in law school and a subsequent trip to Shea Stadium, the story I’m about to tell is nearly as fresh as if it happened yesterday, and I had nothing to drink yesterday night. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>It was last Wednesday and I was making my 1<sup>st</sup> 2008 season journey to the house that Seaver built. But as it always does, school got in the way of me waking up and having nothing to think about other than what LIRR train to take out of Penn Station. With class starting at 11:00 A.M., which if I might add is a cruel and unusual time to begin <b style="">anything</b>, especially when I live 20 minutes away from the Doze and have to factor that great distance into my wake-up time… I digress. With class starting at 11:00 AM I arose at the ungodly hour of 10 AM, showered, did my crunches (I can do 1000 now), made some fresh squeezed orange juice, meditated, read the wall street journal, and yelled at the illegal immigrants doing construction outside my bedroom window for throwing a helmet through my open window onto my bed. At 10:10 I headed out the door. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>When I got to class, I assumed my usual seat between the girl that can’t stand me and the other girl that falls under the “sorry I have a boyfriend” category. I guess both are the result of my unbridled boisterousness (and devilish good looks). I usually get to class about 7 minutes early so I can rock out to “That Smell” or “Tuesday’s Gone” or another Skynyrd classic. Usually someone tries to talk to me in this 7 minutes, not knowing that I am entirely off limits. But this day something was different, it wasn’t me being spoken to, but rather my overhearing of another conversation that distracted me from my Grade A air guitar performance. The guy in front of me, whom I’d spoken to before, sounded like he got punched in the face. I tried to get a look at his jaw but noticed nothing strange. With my interest quickly feigning, I returned to my music just in time to hear Lynyrd croon “<i style="">one more drink, fool, would drown you…<b style="">yeah you</b>”. </i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>An hour elapsed and the class ended. Rushing out of the room to get to my locker and eventually back to my abode, I noticed the guy sitting in front of me <b style="">did </b>in fact have a fat lip… sort of. See it wasn’t quite his lip that was fat. It was the little sac of skin under his chin. Even though this guy was from boston and grotesque displays of human nature from Bostonians never shock me, I couldn’t believe it – this tea partier sat through the entire class WITH A LIP PACKED (skoal peppermint upon further inquiry). Talk about needing a fix.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Later that day I was at shea stadium. There were a group of 4 Staten Islanders (see my new haircut) sitting next to me. I’m the type of fan who sits quietly, analyzing each play in depth, contemplating what my next move would be if I were the Coach, player or GM. But these “bad-guys-from-Mario-Brothers-1” were fulfilling their stereotype generously, shouting at the bradgiole, drinkin beeas, heckling the umpiya, so on and so forth. One of the guys had a broken arm, with which he was grasping a beer bottle. The other arm was likewise grasping a beer bottle, but, going with the days theme, this other bottle was being used as a dip spit receptacle. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>This guy, moreso than his friends, was disgusting. After every sip of beer, he would spit a little into his other bottle. Because the bottle had a narrow mouth, each spit would leave a little dribble which Joey budafuicco would then WIPE OFF ON HIS CAST. Wow! Casts already smell like shit. They certainly don’t need an emulsification of beer and dip spit on top of the natural human stench. But this guy’s cast was nearly dyed brown from the beer and the spit, and therefore was more entertaining to watch than even the mets 1<sup>st</sup> offensive explosion of the young season. What a moron; but fuggedhaboudit. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>With two dip incidents in one day, my mind began jogging. Where else had I had a funny dip incident? OH YES… back in freshman year of college. Here goes:</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>In the business school at cuse, you started your freshman year with a big group project, which divided the already small classes even further. In my group was a <st1:place st="on">Brooklyn</st1:place> native by the name of Steve Gregory. Steve could run a 40 yard dash in under 4.4 seconds. How did I know? Well during ice-breaker games (I know…) steve felt that this was the best piece of information he had to share about himself. That and, of course, that he would be in the NFL one day. In our Junior year Steve was named the big east defensive player of the month for a miserable orange squad, and eventually, after moving around a few times, did find a home with the San Diego Chargers which does nothing but to make my story better.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>One day during that semester I was hanging out with my floormates, most of whom happened to be in my business school intro class, when Steve decided to come up and hang out. It was early enough in the school year (3<sup>rd</sup> week) that no one was truly comfortable binge drinking in front of eachother, no one openly discussed the size and girth of their bongs, and no one had come clean about their childhood meth addictions – emotions were still being restrained. But not for Steve. Steve was the big division 1 football player on his way to a 7 figure payday, and gosh darn it he was gonna act like it. So when my country bumpkin roommate (who no joke had never seen a jew or a computer until the 1<sup>st</sup> day of school – 2 birds with one stone for ya…) took out a can of dip, Steve had to earn his tough guy pedigree and willingly packed half of the unpacked dip into his lip. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>The rest happened in stages. For the first couple minutes he was the life of the party, yelling, screaming, dancing, juking, roiding… you know, whatever it is that football players do. Then he went into the dipping stage where you’re not sure whats going on, your eyes struggle to keep up with your head, and you just want it to end. This stage typically lasts a minute or two, but for Steve it lasted 20. The next stage is the part where you come down and ask yourself why you took the dip in the 1<sup>st</sup> place. For Steve, this stage was a much welcomed relief. Immediately he went back to his “star quarterback” behavior (although he was merely a DB), forgetting about <i style="">just how sickly he looked only minutes prior</i>. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Fortunately for the rest of us Steve never read “Dip for dummies”, and forgot to rinse the excess dip out of his mouth (especially important for a rookie). Having conquered the dip monster, steve went straight to a tall boy, and began pounding (for legal sakes lets say he was 26 not 18). After a big swig something happened; we could tell something was wrong. Steve made that motion you make when your stomach’s about to escape through your mouth, like he was trying to hold it back down. Instead, he projectile vomited allover one of the young American princesses sitting next to him on the bed – not so tough are you star player? </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">We all started laughing, and after he mopped his face off so did steve – unfortunately, mopping your face off is not the same as learning your lesson. With one girl hysterically crying, and the rest of us laughing, Steve took another sip. Again, as if it hadn’t happened just before, Steve projectile vomited directly onto the other half of the girl that had already been partially tainted. With that, Steve picked himself up, ran directly to the bathroom and continued to vomit for, and this is no exaggeration, 3 hours. Three hours of whimpering, crying, tearing, vomiting, moaning, toilet hugging and mercy begging, all from the guy who ran the infamous 4.4 40. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">That’s it; the end of the story. Today Steve returns punts for the San Diego Chargers and I get to write about that time he vomited in the freshman dorms – he must be awfully jealous.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">Other Notes<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I understand how deep the Red Sox/Yankee rivalry flows, but seriously people… burying jerseys in new stadiums is just plain stupid. Get a life!</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">According to ESPN The Mag, fantasy bass fishing is the new rage in fantasy sports land. Here’s a tip for all you newcomers to the sport – PICK UP DC. It’s almost bass season out on the island and DC forecasts more than a 50 LB cows in his near future.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Some Subway employees really piss me off. When I say I want extra tuna no charge, I don’t mean it as a pleasantry. Its not an offer for you subway employees to voice your opinion on whether or not you think your manager would be ok with your acquiescence to my simple-minded demand. Just give me extra tuna, for no charge, and lets move on. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">The food in my cafeteria is so bad that the lunch lady’s won’t even eat it. So much for “in lunch lady land your dreams come true, clouds made of carrots and peas, rivers made of shepphard’s pie, and mountains made of macaroni and cheese.” Oh, not to mention that my cafeteria charges 8 cents for butter packets. My displeasure for paying for butter packets is one thing, but come on, charge a freakin dime, don’t force me to carry two pennies around all day. You know those two pennies are going to fall out and you know I’m going to pick them up, and you know a non-jewish friend will be around when I do so. Come on cafeteria, have some sympathy. </p>SC Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08521995281529578201noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3918866583534606905.post-89756920896987477222008-04-07T17:48:00.000-07:002008-04-09T05:51:37.932-07:00Not Legit - Not Lidge-it Should Quit<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">Post #51 Topic: <i style="">Mr. Lidge, Your Dignity Called, You Left it in 2004<o:p></o:p></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><i style=""><o:p> </o:p></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Well Tuesday was sold out. The home opener at Shea Stadium where Oliver Perez (my favorite for this year’s NL Cy Young, and yes that puts him AHEAD of Johan Santana) will commence the 2008 and final season in that admittedly atrocious park and I couldn’t get tickets. So, when life withholds lemons what do you do? You use that crappy crystal light stuff that your anorexic roommate and his “health unconscious” girlfriend eat for all three meals… EVERY DAY. So I got tickets for Wednesday, when heroic starting pitcher, and Scott Boras product, Mike Pelfrey hopes to prove that he is indeed the final piece to an otherwise pretty formidable starting rotation. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">There is a lot at stake in this series Between the Mets and their newest and largest rival, the Philadelphia Phillies. First, there’s the pride; the team that starts the season series (18 games) off on a winning note assumes the confidence boost synonymous with being labeled the early-season division favorites. And although Jose and D-Wright plan to tone it down this year (what with the chest bumps and all), no one can deny that a little swagger never hurts anyone. Should the Mets take even 2 of 3, they will undoubtedly be given the early season accolades in a semi-stacked division. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Second, the Mets lineup has not exuded any pop whereas the Phillies have already accumulated 3 home runs from one time anemic OF’er, Pat Burrell. The METS NEED TO PROVE THAT THEY CAN HIT TO THE GAPS OR OVER THE FENCES. Angel Pagan’s bloops, infield singles and choppers over second basemen will not be enough to propel the Mets to the Wildcard, let alone the division title. There needs to be more run production coming from the top of the lineup (David Wright excluded, he’s been fine and has had 1 bad game which he deserves now and then). That means Luis Castillo, Carlos Beltran, Jose Reyes… these guys need to take the weight off of Delgado and Church… <b style=""><i style="">AND BRIAN SCHNEIDER </i></b><span style=""> </span>who have been hitting lights out but CAN NOT BE EXPECTED TO CONTINUE TO DO SO. What’s the alternative? We might be seeing Barry Bonds or Sammy Sosa back in uniform sooner than anyone hoped or (myself excluded) expected. So lets get the bats going fellas… sure its only 6 games in but Santana ain’t worth a dollar if we cant get him two runs when he only lets up one. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Third and most importantly, the largest factor to be determined this series is whether the Phillies have the character and talent to make them, once again, worthy of a post-season shot. Last season Brett Myers was <i style="">decent </i>in the closer position, finishing with 21 saves and 4.5 ERA (ok nevermind he sucked). But he’s been moved to the rotation. Tom Gordon just had a great grand son and gets to the mound in a rascal. That leaves the Phillies potentially enormous success in the hands of… DUH DUH duh… BRAD LIDGE. Oh boy hearing that Brad Lidge is closing for the Phillies makes me down right giddy. This guy has the mental stability of Britney Spears and the consistency of feces. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">How bad is Brad Lidge? He’s freakin awful. Yes, that is an incredibly juvenile way to describe a distinct level of misery, bordering on “my daddy could beat up your daddy”, but if 9<sup>th</sup> inning (im)potency is any indicator of childish toughness then my Daddy could kick Brad Lidge’s daddy’s ass. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Allow us to briefly explore the origins from which Brad Lidge’s misery has stemmed. The bible says that Adam took a piece of his own flesh, and molded it into Eve (his biblical concubine). Following the divine train of thought, consider Brad Lidge’s past 5 years as a chunk of flesh from one time New York Metropolitan, who awed even a “low-expectation sick” crowd by starting the 1993 season 1-13 (eventually losing 27 in a row – in the same year that Vince Coleman threw a firecracker at a fan <b style="">during a game</b>). </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Brad Lidge’s career stats tell a suspenseful, at times depressing, and overall promising story for Mets fans. In 2004, Lidge hopped onto the closer scene, attempting to fill the LARGE shoes of Billy Wagner, with 29 saves in 33 chances and an ERA under 2 – <b style="">yikes</b>. In 2005… more of the same: Lidge posted 42 saves in 46 opportunities, placing him among the league’s top 3 closers. Then “<i style="">le merde frappe le fan</i>”. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>In the 2005 postseason, Lidge gave up a 3 run homerun in the ninth to Albert Pujols… and thus began the deterioration. The Cardinals were able to force an eventual game 7, which courtesy of the rest of the Astros (and a recently acquired and playoff monster Carlos Beltran) ended in favor of the Astros. And the ‘Stros went right back to Lidge in game 2 of the series against the Chi Sox. There, again in the 9<sup>th</sup> in a save situation, Lidge faced Scott Podsednik (currently a AAA player) who hadn’t hit a home run that entire year… until Lidge served him a meatball on the silverest of silver platters. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Lidge was never the same. In 2006: 32 saves in 38 opportunities. Respectable, if you ignore the 5.28 ERA. In 2007? 19 saves in 27 opportunities, and eventually relegated to setup man to the setup man duties. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>So you can understand how there is a lot at stake in this series with the Phils. Chances are, if Lidge gets rocked early in the season he’ll be forced out of the closing picture, leaving the duties to an aged Tom Gordon, or forcing the Phillies to take Brett Myers out of the rotation (where he has <i style="">always</i> been projected to wind up). Seems like a perfect time for the big bats of the Mets to wake up no? In fact, I’d even take a loss in the process if the Mets were able to shake Lidge up a little bit, and judging by his performance (4/7), a lidge-shaking might not be asking for too much – <i style="">1 inning, 2 walks, 1 run, 24 pitches – </i>not exactly closer numbers. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>But then again, the Mets might not have to worry. Lidge is a coward. He has allowed one bad pitch to ruin 3 subsequent years of what was poised to be a solid Major League career. Based on his propensities, I’d venture that he’s going to be up in bed, the night before making his Shea Stadium debut, crying, chewing his nails and singing “I’m so excited, I’m so excited, I’m so scared (scuba)” after taking too many caffeine pills. And then the phone will ring. On the other side? Mr. Lidge’s dignity, calling from a sunnier, more promising 2005. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">Other Notes<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><o:p> </o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">95% of my high school teachers disliked me. Probably because I was waaaaay smarter than them but that’s neither here nor there. There was however one teacher who hated me more than any other.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Today I found a woman on a Rangers message board who had two tickets to the Rangers playoff game for next Wednesday at the world’s most famous arena. Thinking she would be selling her seat also, I paypaled her butt 145 bucks, only to get 1 ticket in return. Quickly I turned to stubhub where I discovered that my $145 ticket was selling for over $350 (likely to go up). About to add it to the stubhub collection, I received another e-mail from the seller: “<i style="">I’m so happy that I will be sitting next to a real fan for this game. I hate when I sell my tickets and the person who shows up is either disinterested or a fan of the other team</i>”. So my guilt set in… how could I possibly not go now? So I decided to suck it up and sit next to her. Now prior to this last e-mail we had known eachother only as Karen and DCMSG (to protect the innocent). However, Karen chose to sign our final e-mail as <i style="">Karen ____ ____</i> (again to protect the innocent). Now that wouldn’t bother me… and it didn’t for at least an hour. But for some unknown reason the name kept echoing through my head, so much so that I eventually said it out loud. Coincidentally, at the time the name came out of my mouf (ghetto for mouth) my good friend from high school was there, and the name immediately caught his attention. Here was his reaction: “<b style=""><i style="">wasn’t that the name of the teacher who absolutely hated your guts all through high school</i></b>”</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">With shit like that happening, thank god for Pirates… aaaaarrrgghhh. </p> Today i went to a fresh fish department and asked for catfish. When the guy picked up the fish it was frozen. I asked him "isn't this fresh fish"? HE looked at me like i was crazy and, no joke said, "yeah but the temperature of the display is too cold". Good work jackass, don't quit your 2 a.m. subway job.SC Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08521995281529578201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3918866583534606905.post-69929887528648676502008-04-04T10:39:00.000-07:002008-04-04T10:42:07.292-07:00Favre-ite Mistake<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">Post #50 (whoo)Topic: <i style="">Have you seen my baseless balls?<o:p></o:p></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><o:p> </o:p><br /> After what has seemed far too short a time, Major League Soccer made its triumphant return last night (Thursday). With this return, fans will see David Beckham return to the field fresh off his failed reality series, and some Mexican dude take the reigns as the MLS’s next star. No that was not racist… but merely the truth. The MLS is pinning its hopes of <i style="">finally </i>catching the fancy of the American Public on a Mexican, from the Mexican pro league. Rumor has it that this new star is <b style=""><i style="">so so</i></b> fast, that NO ONE saw him cross the border (<i style="">see <u>Plyler v. Doe</u></i> – or to keep your sanity. DON’T).</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Yes ladies and gents, the MLS is back, and what better way to celebrate than to talk about Brett Farve. The hottest of hot news on the press (even drunkenstepfather.com is reporting) is that recently retired star quarterback Brett Favre may not actually be so retired after all – apparently there’s something about brett that we JUST DON’T KNOW. And by we I of course mean you because my infinite wisdom propelled me to an immediate understanding of this otherwise complex seeming situation… allow me to drop some knowledge and as always, be sure to pick it up.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">The Packers weren’t and aren’t going to win a championship anytime in the near future. Sure they went on a nearly miraculous run last year, only to get stopped by the eventual Super Bowl champions, but we must consider that there is a reason why football analysts get paid… and that’s because they know the bare minimum. The bare minimum last year? That the Packers WERE NOT GOING TO WIN THE SUPER BOWL. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">The problem for Brett then became… why hang on when my prospects of winning are slowly disappearing? Brett isn’t and wasn’t the type of quarterback that could <i style="">will </i>a championship, especially not at his ripe old age. Rather, he was merely a product of that which surrounded him (during his glory days he had Mark Chmura, Antonio Freeman, Reggie White, Dorsey Levens and so on and so forth), which excluding the bitter cold of Lambeau was not all that much (look at the roster – not all that much is a freakin’ gift). </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">But as long as Brett was in the league there was NO CHANCE the Packers would ever let him go. The knicks (and the magic and sonics and wizards) couldn’t let go of Patrick Ewing. The Rangers couldn’t let go of Mark Messier, and the Yankees couldn’t let go of steroids. Consequently, all three hung around their respective locker rooms far longer than any consultant would have advised. The advantage the packers have is that there is <i style="">perhaps</i> someone waiting in the Wings whereas the Knicks have since conducted failed experiments with countless centers, the Rangers with countless captains, and the Yankees with more than their fair share of lucrative free agent signings (notice how I refuse to capitalize knicks). </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">So Brett needed a way for the Packer fans to let him go, and found it in a little known man by the name of Aaron Rodgers. Is Aaron Rodgers the next Brett Farve? Probably not, but one would be incorrect to say that he doesn’t have legitimate NFL potential (case and point his performance in relief against the Cowgirls). It was not until Brett officially announced his retirement that the fans could begin the process of converting their endless allegiance to a virtually unproven Rodgers. But the fans are trying. Rodgers is getting press, has done well under media pressure and has been <i style="">conveniently</i> questioned over and over again about his collegiate success at <st1:state st="on">Cal</st1:State> and his triumph in <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Dallas</st1:place></st1:City> during this past season. So, with the <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Green Bay</st1:place></st1:City>’s collective arms gradually beginning their embrace of Aaron Rodgers, Brett Favre has casually slipped out the back door.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">“He never filed his retirement papers”, “his agent has been feeling around for trade options”, “inside sources at the NFL say he has made clear that he wished to play again”, “blah blah blah blah blah”. If you’ve heard these rumors once then you’ve most likely thought about shutting off PTI, and are in no rush to hear them again. Do I think that Brett Farve has retired? Yes (with <b style=""><i style="">emphatic</i></b> emphasis). Do I however rule out the possibility of a return? NO (slightly less emphasis).</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">What Brett has done is succeeded in alienating himself from the <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Green Bay</st1:place></st1:City> public. Although the cheeseheads would welcome papa brett back in an artificially created heartbeat, whether he will allow them too is a far different story. See Brett has been playing with the Packers fans for the better part of a half decade, wavering over whether or not he would retire or keep playing. Now having guaranteed his retirement, Brett has pretty much guaranteed that any return would take place outside of <st1:place st="on"><st1:state st="on">Wisconsin</st1:State></st1:place>. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Lets cut it down. First we eliminate the teams set at quarterback (involves having a young guy/veteran platoon or a star). Goodbye: <b style=""><i style="">Giants, Cowboys, Saints, SeaHawks, Cardinals, Patriots, Steelers, Browns, Bengals, Colts, Jaguars, Titans, Texans, Chargers, Broncos and Raiders. <o:p></o:p></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">We can automatically count out division rivals, just because. Au Revoir: <b style=""><i style="">Vikings, Lions, Bears.<o:p></o:p></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">This only leaves a couple of possibilities, some of which we can eliminate for other reasons. <b style="">Eagles: </b>while the Eagles may be over the Donovan phase, it would be cruel and unusual punishment for this management to not dedicate the next several years to rebuilding the surrounding elements and hopefully develop a quarterback from within. While Brian Kolb is NOT THE ANSWER, Brady Quinn may soon become available and could be worth a shot.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><b style="">Buccaneers: </b>This is a possibility, especially given the warm weather in <st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on">Florida</st1:place></st1:State>. And the Bucs are a good getting better team. But the Bucs have Jeff Garcia and would be wiser to follow the Eagles advice and start developing a replacement, perhaps through the draft.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Brett isn’t joining a “work in progress” team: he wants to win now. Therefore, we can eliminate those teams that<b style=""> </b>can’t win. <span style=""> </span>Seeya: <b style="">Falcons </b>(although that is where his career began), <b style="">Niners, Rams, Chiefs and Dolphins</b>)</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">That leaves… well that only leaves the Ravens. If Brett was frustrated by his “options” in the tundra, how will he feel about trying to find Jamal Lewis in prison traffic? Probably not too good!</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Oh wait, then there’s the <st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on">Carolina</st1:City></st1:place> <b style="">Panthers</b>. Hmmmm. <b style="">Nah!<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><span style=""> </span></b>So I say piss off. Tell your agent to shut his trap and tell Wilbon and Kornheiser that you’ve got arthritis (they’ll understand). We get it, you’re a great quarterback; one of the greatest of all time. You’ve won MVP’s, Superbowls and even made bad teams respectable. But your time has come to say goodbye to all your friends indeed. You had every opportunity to come back to the city that made you who you are, but you washed those away as soon as you wiped your losing-forced sour puss off your scruffy gray haired face. Its time to ride off into the night Brett, and by night I mean the NFL sidelines where you can gracefully pursue your next biggest score, something not even Joe Namath could conquer… bagging one of those hot young ESPN commentators. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">Other Notes<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><o:p> </o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Yesterday (Thursday) my roommate was trying to figure out where he wanted to go out for the night. His girlfriend’s response was “you’re not in college anymore, you don’t need to go out”. ATTENTION ALL GIRLFRIENDS; if your boyfriend is under the age of 25 and you plan on keeping him around, <i style="">NEVER TELL HIM HE’S NOT IN COLLEGE ANYMORE… </i>unless of course he went to a good school in which case he probably doesn’t know what he’s missing.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">The Beijing Olympics are in trouble. First we heard several countries were withholding their marathon runners for fear that the air quality could lungs. Next, several nations decided to boycott the Olympics in reaction to china’s attitude towards <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">Tibet</st1:place></st1:country-region>. Just imagine how pissed a whole slew of countries are going to be when they get to china and find out that <i style="">there is no general Tso.</i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Scrabble is the new beer pong.</p>SC Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08521995281529578201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3918866583534606905.post-41598399909250805862008-04-02T11:37:00.000-07:002008-04-02T11:40:01.073-07:00Hindsight is Always 20/20<p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><o:p> </o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">Post #49: <i style="">Do-overs!<o:p></o:p></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><i style=""><o:p> </o:p></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Yes it has been three weeks since my last post. Several things have occurred over those three weeks that lead to my absence from the virtual airways. For one, I’ve been busy with my animal rights class – who knew that brutally killing cows was generally frowned upon (speaking of which I have two steaks marinating in my refrigerator as we speak). The rest? Irrelevant; just be happy <span style=""> </span>I’m back.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">So about a week ago the Red Sox opened the season in <st1:country-region st="on">Japan</st1:country-region> and in typical <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Boston</st1:place></st1:City> fashion… they won. Sure they lost the next day but it was indeed painful for me to watch what resembles a “lapping” as may or may not happen in Nascar (I can’t tell you because I don’t have a half empty Budweiser keg in my trailer under my mom’s bed/pullout sofa).</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">I don’t want to see the Red Sox win the world series, the Celtics win the 2<sup>nd</sup> best and therefore 1<sup>st</sup> most meaningless trophy in basketball, only to have the Red Sox win the World Series again. One can’t deny that the Sox do look pretty good this year, both on paper and on Japanese astro turf. Their line-up is just as if not more stacked than it has ever been. With Dustin Pedroia and Jacob Ellsbury having cemented their positions in the everyday lineup, the Red Sox batting order is one which truly boasts no holes. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Then, assuming that Josh Beckett is healthy, the Sox rotation is downright <i style="">nasty</i>. Forget the fact that they’re anchored by one of the most (and few) consistent closers in the league; the Red Sox are a prime example, and 1 of a collection of perhaps 4 or 5 teams that opposing teams should be scared to face on a nightly basis. Or maybe 4 out of 5 nights now that Doug Mirabelli is gone and the back-stop has been named Tim Wakefield’s default catcher… but nonetheless – them Sawx make me pee myself. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Really, how could the Sox have looked any better? <b style="">OH YEAH</b><i style="">, there is that one guy who they so stubbornly refused to pry from Minnesota even when the <b style="">award of the century</b> was all but gifted to them by an overly confident, overly mis-managed Yankees organization – <b style="">Johan Santana</b></i>. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Sidenote – lets talk about pride here. For the 1<sup>st</sup> time in a longtime, both the Sawx and the Yanks seem to have a legit prospect support system. For the Sox there’s Buccholz (spelling), Ellsbury, Pedroia, Lester and Papplebon. For the Yankees, (who miraculously according to Yankees fans have the next <b style="">6 Greg Maddux’s</b>) Ian Kennedy, Phil Hughes, Melky Cabrera and Joba Chamberlain give an aging organization some youthful promise. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Unfortunately for both organizations, this prospect presence turned into another war. WHOSE PROSPECTS WERE BETTER? The only way to answer this question would be to decide who would give up less for Johan – the clear measuring stick for actual player value. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">In the end, both teams bowed out, perhaps persuaded by the pressure to establish more “street cred” for their young guns, and neither team took a flyer on Johan. Instead, Johan wound up with the team that actually needed him the most – the Mets (more on that in a bit).</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">When you talk about the top prospects in baseball, you usually quote the same Peter Gammons and Buster Olney predictions (because lets face it… NO ONE follows AAA baseball). There’s Evan Longoria in <st1:placename st="on">Tampa</st1:PlaceName> <st1:placetype st="on">Bay</st1:PlaceType>, Jay Bruce in <st1:city st="on">Cincinnati</st1:City>, Colby Rasmus in <st1:city st="on">St. Louis</st1:City>, Cameron Maybin in <st1:state st="on">Florida</st1:State>, Felix Pie in <st1:city st="on">Chicago</st1:City>, and <b style="">LASTINGS MILLEDGE </b>in <st1:place st="on"><st1:state st="on">Washington</st1:State></st1:place> (still waiting for an explanation Omar…). Albeit these guys are younger than the players both the yanks and the Sox refused to give up, but based on a lot of research and a lot of fantasy analysis, the two behemoth’s prospects are NEVER MENTIONED in the same sentences as those above. Teams like the Tigers must not have gotten the memo on just how valuable unproven assets are these days in baseball as they traded the entire farm for a sure-fire Miguel Cabrera and a “reclamation project without the high leg-kick that used to fluster hitters” in Dontrelle Willis. Break that trade down and you wind up with Cameron Maybin for Dontrelle Willis (the other 5 prospects fetching Cabrera)… And the Red Sox honestly couldn’t give up Jon Lester, a guy who figures to sit at the back end of a relatively young rotation for a considerable amount of time? Someone thinks their poo doesn’t smell accordingly, and his name is Theo Epstein ladies and gents. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>But as a Mets fan, Theo, I thank you for your pride. With nothing left on the table the Twins were forced to take three career minor leaguers and a utility outfielder with a potential to be a “good player” in the mold of Jacques Jones, best case scenario. And two nights ago (March 31<sup>st</sup> – the start of the new era in Metsland), Johan shined on like a crazy diamond. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Three hits, 8 k’s 2 bb’s over 7 innings. Having watched the game, let me assure all of you readers who were not as fortunate of one thing – Johan looked like he could have pitched 15. His stuff only started painting the corners in the 6<sup>th</sup>, where he struck out the side. In the 7<sup>th</sup>, he was equally commanding. Willie must have felt that a 5 run lead over a lowly Marlins Team (david – 4, Marlins – still zero), presented a perfect time to get his bullpen wet, especially the pitchers who have not yet shown that they can be relevant in the suddenly competitive NL East (Joe Smith, Pedro Feliciano, Matt Wise, etc.,). </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>So we’re two games in and Johan’s record has one win and hardly a blemish. As a Mets fan I hope that he keeps his performance and his trade value up and that somewhere down the road, perhaps by nothing other than the grace of our almighty Allah (or god or whomever) that the Red Sox <b style="">Make Jon Lester </b>available.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">Other Notes<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><o:p> </o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Our other game may have represented the 2<sup>nd</sup> biggest baseball mistake in recent memory – giving Pedro a four year deal. After a whole off-season of promise and health, it takes Pedro 3 innings and 2 home runs to wind up back on the DL. Maybe we shouldn’t have expected so much, put Pedro in the 4<sup>th</sup> slot and let Ollie and John Maine prove that they are both capable (and are) Major League #2’s.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Follow your dreams. You can reach your goals. I’m living proof. Beefcake… BEEFCAKE</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Look at the way he rolls… just like a woman.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I recently went to a little Chinese take out place to get some general Tso’s breading with chicken flavoring. Inside was a guy who asked me “is this place good?” I told him I didn’t know. He told me that he had 1 take out place that he ALWAYS went to, and he didn’t put up with SHITTY take-out places. I assured him that the place we were at had a good reputation. He must have believed me because he stayed just long enough to get his buffalo wings – a true purveyor of fine Chinese</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">They say beer can make you dumb. It are go good with pizza. </p>SC Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08521995281529578201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3918866583534606905.post-11535865626752859712008-03-07T07:22:00.000-08:002008-03-07T07:25:11.773-08:00That Hurt - Quick, Grab the Roids.<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">Post #48 Topic: <i style="">Amazin’ Luck<o:p></o:p></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><i style=""><o:p> </o:p></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><span style=""> </span></b>I woke up early this morning with a splitting headache. I didn’t do anything stupid last night, so the headache’s main effect was to have me mad at the world. Not to mention that these constructionites are building what HAS to be the worlds largest apartment building right outside my window. For 6 months now I’ve been woken every morning at 7 to the sounds of piledriving, drilling and “Jersey Boys” screaming at the donut vendor to get his “muddafuckin gabagool ova daer”. Also kind of upsetting when I wake up naked with my shades open and see Vinnie Scallopini looking right in my window… although I’m not sure who that would be more painful for. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>When I got out of bed I wasn’t sure what to do 1<sup>st</sup>. Do I brush my teeth? Nah, that can wait for my first visitor which might be at around 6 pm. Do I make my bed? If only I knew how… thanks mom! So, as is the case on any other Friday morning where I have an extraordinary amount of time, I decided to wake up and read the world’s finest publication – the New York Post.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Background: The Mets, who upon signing Johan Santana this off-season, appeared to be on the road to a bright and promising season. Their pitching had gone from “lacking” to “complete” literally overnight. Their offense seemed solid on the heels of a return to stardom by one time “power-to-be-reckoned-with” Carlos “what anthem?” Delgado. The Mets even brought the “Straw” back into town to serve as a hitting coach – the final straw in what seemed to be the Mets best “<b style="">Crack”</b> in years.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>But Ladies and Gentleman, as it almost always does, London bridge has collapsed and this time there is no fair lady to the rescue… unless you count David Wright’s “manhattan girl of the week” (sorry for all the quotations this early in the morning). </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Carlos Beltran: hurt, hasn’t yet appeared in spring training.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Carlos Delgado: More of the same</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Ryan Church: Post-concussion syndrome, likely out for a few more weeks</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Luis Castillo: Hurt</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Duaner Sanchez: (Who might be the key to this season so long as he stays out of cabs) sore right shoulder</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Moises Alou: Hernia surgery out at least 2 months… <i style="">at least.</i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>El Duque: Unable to lift his leg to wind up with his famous leg kick (sitting duck)</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>The list truly does go on, and these are only the most important of the slew of injuries that has caused the Mets to name Angel Pagan as their current everyday starter. <i style="">Who the hell is Angel Pagan?</i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span><b style="">Back to the Post</b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>So I woke up this morning and began reading an article about how the Mets weren’t going to hit the panic button, although this does in fact seem as good a time as any. The article continued to say how the Mets were going to give some youngsters a chance to earn spots until Jose Valentin could come back; for me, waiting for Jose Valentin is like waiting for a train in the ocean; it can lead to nothing but disappointment. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Then, hiding there in the 3<sup>rd</sup> paragraph was a little name that has gone unmentioned throughout a majority of this off-season. The name of a man who when healthy has the ability to get on base .450 of the time. I man who if given 400 at bats (excluding walks) can still belt 35 home runs. A man that will serve as an amazing protector of our top of the order big bats, ensuring that D. Wright, Reyes and Beltran (if and when healthy) will see their fair share of good pitches. Lass’ and gentiles, allow me to reintroduce… BARRY BONDS.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span><b style="">ATTN: OMAR MINAYA: PLEASE SIGN BARRY TODAY!<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><span style=""> </span></b>First the negatives. If not for the Roger Clemens fiasco, chances are our baseball nation would <i style="">still</i> be chastising Mr. Bonds for his rampant roid rectum refilling (how’s that for alliteration?). The debate over whether he should be in the hall of fame (which he should be) would be ongoing and Barry’s gigantic dome would be front and center in the papers day in and day out. Then there’s the age factor. Last year bonds only had 28 home runs, and chances are that as his chances to resign have dwindled, so have his previously pristine workout habits, leading some to believe that there is no way that the San Fran Slugger can ever be productive in a major league line up again. BUT… if Jose Canseco can make comebacks on two separate occasions, then I see no reason why Barry can’t do the same.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Second, the positives. Take a look at Barry’s stat line from last year. <i style="">340 Abs, 28 HRs, 66 RBI’s, <b style="">132 walks</b>, .276 BA and .480 OBP. </i>That’s pretty damn impressive no matter who you are. Someone please tell me that the Mets shouldn’t kill to have that kind of threat in their lineup.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>As for the age dilemma, Bonds is indeed 43 years old. However, this separates him from the Mets <i style="">other </i>full time left fielder by only two years. Could Barry possibly be any less versatile in left field than Moises would have been if he was healthy to start the season? My intuition tells me no, my having watched a plethora of games last year tells me definitely not. Then, given the improvement that Bond’s bat would bring to our line – up this move seems like a no brainer. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Barry isn’t the kind of guy that needs to play 160 games to be successful. In fact, giving him 100 starts and letting him come off the bench as a pinch-hitter for pitchers in the rest of the games would be a mean mean strategy that would certainly cast fear into the eyes of the Mets’ closest competitor, the Phils. Enough having Marlon Anderson come up to bat and threaten in-field singles once every couple games. Picture Barry coming in and drawing walks in the 9<sup>th</sup> spot, setting Reyes up to increase his already <i style="">pleasant </i>RBI total. To me, this sounds like an amazing plan.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>There is however the money issue. While Barry got paid 18 million last year, experts agree that this was San Francisco’s way of saying “this is your last year, thanks for everything, now get out of town”. According to reports circulating the inner circles of the diamond gossip ring, Barry REALLY wants to play again. With financial security no longer on Bonds’ agenda, chances are that he’d be willing to except 6-8 million for a chance to show that he still has major league numbers left in his majorly tampered with body; and what better place to show that than in a line-up with recently established gaping holes. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>The potential line-up gives me goosebumps.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span><b style="">SS – 1 – Jose Reyes<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><span style=""> </span>2B – 2 – Luis Castillo<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><span style=""> </span>3B – 3 – David Wright<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><span style=""> </span>CF – 4 – Carlos Beltran<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><b style="">LF – 5 - Barry Bonds<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><span style=""> </span>RF – 6 – Ryan Church<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><span style=""> </span>1B – 7 – Carlos Delgado<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><span style=""> </span>C – 8 – Brian Schneider<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><span style=""> </span>P – 9 – Johan Santana<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><span style=""> </span></b>It boggles my mind to think just how many RBI’s Barry could have, even in limited plate appearances, hitting behind that foursome. Throw in a healthy Delgado facing less pressure towards the bottom of the lineup and all of the sudden the Mets are a stacked team. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>So I say lets take a chance. Take a chance on Barry’s ailing knees. Take a chance on Barry’s one-time heroic bat. Take a chance on Barry’s cold demeanor which could help to restore some discipline to a team that was too “gleeful” for its own good last year. But more importantly, take a chance that a man once considered to be the best hitter of all time, was and is exactly that.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Otherwise Omar… Sammy Sosa is eagerly awaiting your call.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">Other Notes<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><o:p> </o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">New favorite drink: Root Beer and anything</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">My cell phone is invincible. I’ve thrown it, sawed it, burned it, drowned it, dropped it, kicked it, and even verbally abused it. Amazingly, it just keeps ticking. So for all of you Blackberry addicts out there, its time to get over your technologically advanced selves. Because when the meteor shower comes, and our phones are the only things to protect our heads, I’m going to be the only one left chatting come the morn, even if the only person left to chat is myself. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Everything tastes better with blackened seasoning. In fact, if you have two different types of blackened seasoning, try putting one on top of the other. You’re in for a scrumptious treat. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Syracuse</st1:place></st1:City> had better make the tournament this year. Otherwise, what am I going to do when I’m supposed to be preparing for finals?</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Would someone tell me if I looked stupid rolling my cuffs on my jeans over? As Weezie once said… “<i style="">I’m from the dirty like the bottom of my pants cuff</i>”. We all know Weezie is a prophet, which leads me to believe that if he sings about it, its gotta be a problem worth addressing.</p>SC Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08521995281529578201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3918866583534606905.post-80811469728745785512008-02-27T13:49:00.001-08:002008-02-27T16:45:41.690-08:00Oh how the tradewinds blow<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">Post #47 Topic: <i style="">NHL Trade Deadline<o:p></o:p></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><i style=""><o:p> </o:p></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>I’m kind of surprised that I’ve been doing “this” for this long. I guess that speaks volumes as to law schools failure to “consume” me, as so many of my peers had promised me was beyond inevitable. Or perhaps my incessant meaningless hammering at my keyboard can be attributed to my adoration for the written word. Then again, its probably just that I have strong opinions, am steadfast in sticking to them and feel that it is my duty to inform the world of the rights, and protect said world from its oh so many wrongs. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Either way, this is my 47<sup>th</sup> post and all I have to show for it is a missing “F” key and an extra-sensitive “K” key. Extra-sensitive? Yes indeed. With most keys, seeing a letter appear on your monitor requires at least a little physical pressure. But not with my “K” key. My “K” key has feelings; and a whole lot of them. That gosh darn key is so sensitive that I can add a K to any document simply by brushing my finger over it. Sure its not as sensitive as the new Mac’s which require being “thought” on, but imagine my professor’s shagrin when they see the following: <i style="">“In International Shoe kkk the plaintiff feared that the kkk defendant would enter a motion for a kkk summary judgment”</i>. Needless to say racism has no place in law school; rather, it is solely reserved for schools of Public Policy (Maxwell throw ya hands up k).</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">The reason that I’m so thrilled that I’ve lasted so long in an overly-saturated game with millions of illiterate high schoolers trying to become the next Bill Simmons or Rick Reilly is that by lasting, I have allowed myself a chance to analyze and critique the NHL trade deadline, which I consider to be one of the most exciting days in sports, bar only the coup de final in the yearly steroid competition – Le Tour De France.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Unfortunately for my dedicated readership, there were far too many moves for me to cover all of them. SO… the following are some of the better, worse and more surprising deals from yesterday’s (2/26) deadline.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><b style="">Tampa Bay trades Brad Richards and Johan Holmqvist to the Stars for Mike Smith, Jussi Jokinen and Jeff Halpern<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><st1:city st="on"><b style=""><i style="">Tampa</i></b></st1:city><b style=""><i style="">: </i></b><st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Tampa</st1:place></st1:city> accomplished several of their most important objectives of this deadline. As of now it appears that Tampa will not make the playoffs, meaning the rest of the season can be used to determine whether Mike Smith can be a #1 goaltender, which Tampa has been lacking since the Bulin Wall left post cup run. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Prior to the trade, <st1:city st="on">Tampa</st1:city> was very strong up front; Lecavalier, Richards, <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">St. Louis</st1:place></st1:city>…But after those three the only threat was Vaclav Prospal (who is now also gone). With this trade <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Tampa</st1:place></st1:city> has addressed a serious need… cheap depth. Jeff Halpern is well traveled, but his value has never been disputed. From Washington to Dallas, Halpern is a career 40 point guy who backchecks and has leadership qualities… a nice fit for any rebuilding team’s 3<sup>rd</sup> line. In Jussi Jokinen, <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Tampa</st1:place></st1:city> adds a 24 year old shoot out specialist who is on pace to reach 50 points for the 3<sup>rd</sup> time in his young career… Jokinen will fill the 2<sup>nd</sup> line RW spot nicely.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><st1:city st="on"><b style=""><i style="">Dallas</i></b></st1:city><b style=""><i style="">:</i></b> <st1:city st="on">Dallas</st1:city> gets what <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Dallas</st1:place></st1:city> needs, a marquis player who can take the weight off of Mike Modano. With Modano likely leaning towards retirement, Richards becomes the young face of an otherwise aging franchise. His 2-way play, 90 point potential and Conn Smythe trophy past will serve <st1:city st="on">Dallas</st1:city> nicely in their attempts to compete with the pride of the conference: <st1:city st="on">Detroit</st1:city> and <st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on">Anaheim</st1:city></st1:place>.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><st1:place st="on"><st1:state st="on"><b style="">Washington</b></st1:state></st1:place><b style=""> trades a bag of coffee beans (in the shape of a freshman defenseman at Notre Dame, a non-hockey powerhouse school) for Sergei Fedorov.<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on"><b style=""><i style="">Washington</i></b></st1:place></st1:state><b style=""><i style="">: </i></b>I am almost at the point where I take back what I said earlier in the year about Sidney Crosby. Sure he is the Most <b style=""><i style="">valuable </i></b>player in the league. But if the question is who is most dominant, the answer is undoubtedly Alexander Ovechkin. Ovechkin has turned into a 1 man wrecking crew with the potential to score 60 goals before he even turns 21 – impressive. Ovechkin is surrounded by great players too; Mike Green, Alex Semin, Niklas Backstrom and now… Cristobal Huet (the #1 goalie <st1:place st="on"><st1:state st="on">Wash.</st1:state></st1:place> needed to replace fan favorite but aging Olaf Kolzig). Only problem is that none of these guys have playoff experience. None know how to grind out wins in game 7’s. None know the intensity that is, although now a cliché, required to win a cup championship. In comes Sergei Fedorov. Sure Sergei can’t pocket ‘em like he used to, but he can still skate. Sergei should do wonders to educate fellow countrymen (the two Alex’s) on the recipe for playoff success. Fedorov is also solid defensively and can be used as a shutdown shadower on some of the other Eastern Conference big boys… Fedorov at this price can only be considered a phenomenal deal, and one that immediately propels the Caps to the position of Southeast Division favorites. Plus, with the attention in <st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on">Washington</st1:place></st1:state> being on the young nucleus, Fedorov gets one more chance to rejuvenate his career.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on"><b style="">Buffalo</b></st1:city></st1:place><b style=""> trades Brian Campbell to the Sharks for Steve Bernier and a 1<sup>st</sup> rounder<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><st1:city st="on"><b style=""><i style="">Buffalo</i></b></st1:city><b style=""><i style="">: </i></b>I say <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Buffalo</st1:place></st1:city> wins this one. In a market full of NTC’s (no trade clauses) and only 2<sup>nd</sup> tier defenseman being available, Campbell may in fact appear as the #1 PP QB that teams drool over. But don’t be fooled. Here is a guy that can put up the points, but can not avoid the repetitive defensive lapses. While he might help the <st1:city st="on">San Jose</st1:city> blue-line, <st1:city st="on">Campbell</st1:city> emerged out of nowhere as a powerhouse last year, and as so many have before him, he may in fact be poised to recede into obscurity on what happens to be a <i style="">stacked </i><st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">San Jose</st1:place></st1:city> team. Take into consideration that there was NO WAY that <st1:city st="on">Buffalo</st1:city> would resign <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Campbell</st1:place></st1:city> and you see how Darcy Regier (Buffalo GM) was acting in his team’s best interest. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">While I don’t know much about Bernier, all reports from the West say approximately the same thing – that Bernier is a young power forward, defensively responsible with 35 goal potential and 1<sup>st</sup> line written all over him. Bernier will look great on a line with Thomas Vanek and Tim Connolly, and if the Sabres can get their finances together, this line has the chance to truly grow together. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Also, scouts say this is one of the deepest drafts <b style="">ever </b>(although it seems as if this analysis is levied every year). A 1<sup>st</sup> rounder in a deep draft is nearly invaluable, especially with the Shark’s current record slating Buffalo for a 16<sup>th</sup>-18<sup>th</sup> pick courtesy of the cartilage monsters. <span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><b style="">Colorado trades a 1<sup>st</sup> rounder and a conditional pick for Adam Foote</b>.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><st1:state st="on"><b style=""><i style="">Colorado</i></b></st1:state><b style=""><i style="">: </i></b>Foote’s prior success in <st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on">Colorado</st1:place></st1:state> can’t be ignored, and with the recent addition of Foppa (Forsberg), this team looks like the one that took the cup in ’01. Only problem is that ’01 was nearly a decade ago and other than the additions of Peter Stastny and Wojtek Wolski, the parts have aged accordingly. With an inconsistent netminder (Theodore/Budaj), the Avs aren’t even promised to make the playoffs (currently they sit outside the frame). Mortgaging your future for a cup run is one thing. Doing so (again in a deep draft) just to make the playoffs is another, far less wise one. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><b style="">Rangers trade Al Montoya and Marcel Hossa for Fred Sjostrom, Josh Gratton and David Lenevue:<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><b style=""><i style="">Pheonix: </i></b>Not quite sure to be honest. Hossa is a grinder but Sjostrom is a younger, faster, more offensively inclined version… not sure how this works out. Al Montoya has potential to be a #1 goalie and its sad that the Rangers gave him up for a lot less than his original worth, but the truth is that the Rangers have king Henrik in net for the next 6 years, making Al expendable. Strangely, <st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on">Phoenix</st1:city></st1:place> has their own #1 Ilya Bryzgalov who appears to have the starting position on lock. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><b style=""><i style="">Rangers: </i></b>Lenevue is a favorite of Rangers’ goaltending coach Benoit Allaire, and according to pro scouts, can be groomed to be a solid backup netminder. With Henrik in the crease, Leneveu will see limited action in the future, a role perfect for his recent inconsistencies. Sjostrom will for now assume Hossa’s spot on the 4<sup>th</sup> line. Gratton will be fighting in <st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on">Hartford</st1:city></st1:place> (see previous post) until his contract expires. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on"><b style="">Detroit</b></st1:place></st1:city><b style=""> trades a 2<sup>nd</sup> and a 4<sup>th</sup> for Brad Stuart<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><st1:city st="on"><b style=""><i style="">Detroit</i></b></st1:city><b style=""><i style="">: </i></b><st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Detroit</st1:place></st1:city> just got a lot deeper. Brad Stuart has never amounted to the star he was expected to be when he started in <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">San Jose</st1:place></st1:city>, but he’s solid. Although he’s a glaring minus this year, he plays on one of the league’s worst teams. That -16 should turn around quickly in <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Detroit</st1:place></st1:city> where he will not be forced to face opposing team’s top lines (hello Mr. Lidstrom). Throw in his 21 pts and his 21 minutes per night and <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Detroit</st1:place></st1:city> looks a lot stronger in a fiercely competitive West. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><b style="">Pittsburgh trades Erik Christensen, Colby Armstrong, Angelo Esposito and a 1<sup>st</sup> to <st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on">Atlanta</st1:city></st1:place> for Marian Hossa and Pascal Dupuis<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on"><b style=""><i style="">Pittsburgh</i></b></st1:place></st1:city><b style=""><i style="">: </i></b>This trade is curious. Hossa serves as a SEVERE upgrade on <st1:place st="on">Crosby</st1:place>’s left wing over Colby Armstrong, who was struggling to find the net despite being paired with the game’s most creative setup man. Pascal Dupuis is not as rough as Christensen but is quicker, has a better nose for the net and is GREAT on the PK – two significant upgrades. Seems like <st1:city st="on">Pittsburgh</st1:city> won this, but depending on Hossa’s off-season decision and Esposito’s progress in juniors… this could easily tilt in favor of <st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on">Atlanta</st1:city></st1:place>.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Here though, lies the real problem. <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Sidney</st1:place></st1:city> reupped for 10 a year. With Malkin leading the league in scoring in Sid’s absence, his RFA status this coming summer will command him a similar pay-day. Jordan Staal will also require a new contract, and despite his sophomore slump, there is no doubt that the enormous potential is there. Throw in rookie D-man Kris Letang (future Norris trophy candidate) and M.A. Fleury, and questions arise as to whether the Pens have enough to make a competitive offer to Hossa this summer when he becomes a <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">UFA</st1:place></st1:city>? Seems as if the answer is no, in which case, the last-ditch attempt at this year’s cup may in fact come back to haunt these suddenly relevant Pens. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on"><b style=""><i style="">Atlanta</i></b></st1:place></st1:city><b style=""><i style="">: </i></b>Hossa was not going to re-sign – so good riddance. Besides this is Ilya Kovalchuk’s team – beyond any reasonable doubt. In return they receive 2 scrappy players who can look out for Kovalchuk when Holik retires (hopefully sooner rather than later for <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Atlanta</st1:place></st1:city>). These two will fill valuable 3<sup>rd</sup> line roles on a rebuilding team, not the 1<sup>st</sup> line minutes they were negligently assigned in the Igloo. Given their low price-tag, this was clearly a value-laden trade that enables the Thrashers to be competitive in the approaching off-season. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Esposito is an enigma. Two years ago, prior to his draft, he was considered the most dangerous offensive weapon (behind Rangers’ Alex Cherapanov). Bad attitude and bad numbers have lead to a serious dip in his stock. However, with a little discipline and a little improvement in the work ethic department, Esposito could be the perfect sniper compliment to play on Ilya’s opposite wing. See earlier discussion for 1<sup>st</sup> rounder value.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><b style=""><span style=""> </span><o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><b style="">So where does this leave us? </b>Well… I’m not sure it leaves us any where other than we already were. Yes the Penguins got stronger in the east, but Marian Hossa has a history (albeit a brief one) of disappearing in the playoffs – case in point, the rangers 4 game sweep of the Thrashers in last year’s first round. The other big team in the east, the Senators, made a minor move adding Martin Lapointe. While Lapointe should address <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Ottawa</st1:place></st1:city>’s toughness concern, his impact will be marginal at most. Elsewhere in the East, the Devils remained essentially the same and the flyers picked up Prospal but again, impact TBD. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">If anything, the Capitals truly established themselves as a contender in the east, ironically leaving the Canes behind in what became their own trade deadline storm. Montreal… whom many expected to be the forerunners for the <i style="">other </i>Hossa brother remained quiet, executing only one deal in which they awkwardly traded away their #1 goalie – perhaps their hopes are that Carey Price can be the next Patrick Roy, or Ken Dryden. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">As for the good old broadway blueshirts… Things seem ok, and as far as the season has gone, just ok is just fine with me. Despite a wrenching loss to Les Habs last week, the rangers have won 3 out of 4, picking up a total of 7 points over that stretch. According to Glen Sather, rangers’ GM… the Rangers were happy with their position, and felt the need to address only minor issues. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">And I’ll take it. Chemistry is important when it comes time for the playoffs. Last year, prior to acquiring Sean Avery (who I increasingly believe the Rangers need to resign), the locker room was a mess. The Avery injection worked wonders in uniting the locker room and propelling the Rangers to what was nearly a historical Cup run. Assuming Renney and Sather know their stuff, the Rangers chemistry is peaking as we speak, and the rags should be ready to roll come the beginning of April.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">Other Notes<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><o:p> </o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Not to boast but DAMN I look good in a suit. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">The only thing sadder than when your fallback shirt is no longer wearable is when your two fallback shirts both become unwearable at the same time. RIP “So many fish so little time” and “Delt Fall Rush 2003”. May you both rest eternally in our minds next to “I am Tiger Woods”.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">If you have a cleaning lady, and she doesn’t clean… is she just a lady? I recommend to Webster’s collegiate dictionary the adoption of “lady of the mop” to describe shitty cleaning people.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Going to a candy store really is fun. However old you are, when you step foot into a house of confectionaries, the rest of the world (and its Fed Tax assignments) seems to disappear. Which got me thinking, wouldn’t it be smart if Dentists sold candy in their offices?</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Independence day is an amazing movie. Sure the effects are slightly out of date but seriously, go back and watch it. After all, Will Smith don’t have to cuss to sell records. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Real playas don’t eat pasta. Only fuck with the shrimp and the lobsta – <i style="">you know who.</i></p>SC Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08521995281529578201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3918866583534606905.post-13176673477270433682008-02-25T16:03:00.000-08:002008-02-25T16:34:40.940-08:00Hartford - the Harvard of Minor League Hockey<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">Post #46 Topic: <i style="">Just a small town girl<o:p></o:p></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><i style=""><o:p> </o:p></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Short Post:</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Went to <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Hartford</st1:place></st1:City> on Saturday night to do what I have been for a very very long time dying to do; See a Hartford Wolfpack game. The wolkfpack are the NY Rangers AHL affiliate. Essentially, Hartford serves as a mini-storage facility for the Rangers’ prospects who have yet to earn their keep at the professional level (although the AHL is considered professional hcokey), or for those <i style="">fringe </i>prospects who have yet to be packaged as the “extra” in a deadline deal. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>But <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Hartford</st1:place></st1:City> wasn’t always so low on the hockey chains. In fact, die hard Hartforders will tell you that the Whalers have won a <st1:city st="on">Stanley</st1:City> cup more recently than the <st1:place st="on"><st1:placename st="on">New York</st1:PlaceName> <st1:placetype st="on">Ranges</st1:PlaceType></st1:place> themselves. To those dedicated “franchise” fans, it matters not whether the Chalice was lifted above the insurance capital of the North East, or in one of two <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Carolina</st1:place></st1:City>’s (the name CAROLINA Hurricanes suggests that the victor was in fact a united Carolinian effort). </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>So why did I want to go to such an event? Partly because of the history. The <st1:placename st="on">Civic</st1:PlaceName> <st1:placetype st="on">Center</st1:PlaceType> in <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Hartford</st1:place></st1:City> is officially a historical hockey site. Greats from Ron Francis, to Brendan Shanahan to Chris Pronger have graced the <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Hartford</st1:place></st1:City> ice. Although the franchise is now defunct, as a relatively young hockey fan its nice to trace my roots back to the origins of what is now one of the most meaningless franchises in all of sports – Stanley Cup or not (see <st1:place st="on"><st1:placename st="on">Tampa</st1:PlaceName> <st1:placetype st="on">Bay</st1:PlaceType></st1:place>). </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Partly because I had already driven to <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Hartford</st1:place></st1:City> to go to the bars. I know, this is a stupid reason to go anywhere (except New Orleans), but I was already there and had a couple hours to kill in between my second viewing of Roxbury (for which I can now officially say every single line) and the commencement of my standard Saturday night activity… commemorating the close of the shabbas. Ironically, I couldn’t even get into the bars. I got rejected for having a fake id. Remember having a fake id, and how embarrassed you were when all your friends fake id’s worked and yours didn’t leaving you in the cold looking like a deer in headlights? Well take that embarrassment and multiply it by 50. Fortunately, the arguing skills of a “to-be” attorney will always trump that of fat, washed-up, tooth-missing bouncer from <st1:city st="on">Hartford</st1:City>… so score one for the good guys, and take one (or 13) away from <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Hartford</st1:place></st1:City>’s aggregate beer consumption over the course of that Saturday night.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Partly because the Rangers have a couple of <i style="">real-good </i>prospects playing down there, guys that could be substantial impact guys within no more than a year. And I wasn’t disappointed. Rangers recent 1<sup>st</sup> round pick from <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">Finland</st1:place></st1:country-region>, Lauri Korpikoski netted two goals (one on an empty net but who’s counting). Russian phenom, Artem Anisimov although going scoreless also demonstrated why the Rangers have labeled him a “can’t miss, future cog in the organizational wheel”. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Partly because the trade deadline is approaching. The Rangers don’t have a lot of roster players that can be moved (for various reasons that you can find on any other (inferior) sports news site). Instead, what the Rangers have is a breadth of prospects that, unlike any point in recent Ranger history, can be utilized almost exclusively in order to bring back the PP QB that the blueshirts are so desperate for (dear god don’t sign Brian Boyle to a 5 year deal…). I wanted to see what was in the deck, and the cards are certainly looking good.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>With that said, there’s something refreshing about the Wolfpack and their fans. Imagine an NHL type atmosphere, only slightly more concentrated in a slightly smaller stadium in a slightly less relevant town. You still get the fans with the jerseys with the players names on the back, despite the reality of the AHL being that players come and go often far too fast for any fans comforts. You get the cheesy chants, the heckling of opposing players. You even get the deep-seeded hatred for the cross-town rival (the ‘Pack were battling the Sound Tigers of <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Bridgeport</st1:place></st1:City>… The ISLANDERS farm team). You even get the cheesy promotions… my rowmates were fortunate enough to each be offered a $25 dollar gift certificate to <st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on">Hartford</st1:City></st1:place>’s finest restaurant… <b style="">Dominos</b>. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>These fans really are dedicated. They get there an hour early to start drinking, and don’t leave until the 1<sup>st</sup> star of the game has been announced. And for the night, I became a Wolfpack fan. Afterall, I challenge any of to come up with a better way to erase the memory of a stunning 6-5 defeat to the Canadiens after leading 5-0 then celebrate with a team that actually holds leads (they won 5-2). </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Having returned, I have to say that minor league hockey is impressive. Other than die-hard fans of professional teams, few people stay current with the AHL’s day to day going-ons. But for 6,000 people in those stands (that’s the reported number but it looked more like 600), the Wolfpack is the bigs, and the Hartford civic center is the <b style=""><i style="">world’s most famous arena.<o:p></o:p></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><i style=""><o:p> </o:p></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">Other Notes<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><o:p> </o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I heard this joke last night but I had to repeat it. “I wear a lot of axe body spray, but I live in the ghetto so technically its called ask body spray.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Is Hot Rod the new Roxbury??? Stay tuned for details. <span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">What percentage of animals that are called man-eating _____ (such as man eating snake) actually eat men. And if they eat men, how do we know? That’s like the tree falling in the woods argument? Or maybe its like the chicken and the egg… one of the two.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Does febreeze work as breath freshener? I one time called up a spray-cleaner to uncover whether it was safe to make pledges drink it. Surprisingly, the woman on the other line assured me that the stuff was safe to drink (someone’s being mismanaged). Maybe if I squirt a little toothpaste and PLAX into my febreze bottle and mix it up I can get minimize my toiletries.</p><br /><p class="MsoNormal"></p>Cuban girl from thursday night... If you're reading this, oh nevermind.SC Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08521995281529578201noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3918866583534606905.post-76195517568020899102008-02-18T09:23:00.000-08:002008-02-18T09:24:15.684-08:00WHEN IN ROME, NY<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">Post #45 Topic: <i style="">Wingin’ It!<o:p></o:p></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><i style=""><o:p> </o:p></i></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Raise your hand if you’ve ever been “<i style="">Wang Drunk</i>”. Yes, there is indeed such a thing. It’s a seldom-referenced phenomenon that occurs when an eater ingests a lot of wings in a short period of time. I’m not talking about your standard dozen; I’m talking like 50 wings in 15 minutes – <b style=""><i style="">wang drunk</i></b>. Notice the spelling of wing – W-A-N-G<i style="">. </i>No this is not some homage to the <b style=""><i style="">Ladies Man</i></b>, rather, it is the appropriate way to spell the adjective that describes the type of drunk you get when you eat too many wings. Why? Because most people who get wang drunk are country bumpkins, and they uniformly pronounce WING as WANG. Intoxicated off of grease and chicken. Barbecue, Honey Mustard, Hot… doesn’t matter. If you haven’t been wang drunk in your life then my friend… you simply have not lived. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>When I was a freshman in the <st1:place st="on"><st1:placename st="on">Onondaga</st1:PlaceName> <st1:placetype st="on">Valley</st1:PlaceType></st1:place>, I was fortunate enough to be assigned one of these “bumpkins” as my roommate. He was the 1<sup>st</sup> person I had ever met that did not know what a computer was. I was his VERY 1<sup>st</sup> JEW! When I got the roommate assignment, I noticed that he was Italian. Call me insensitive but I was expecting a 6 foot 4 vinnie scallopini to roll up ready to hit the clubs and crush the bradgiole. What I got was a 5 foot 10 toothpick with a southern accent, and an affinity for unpasteurized milk and hunting turkey vultures. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>He was expecting me, a jew, to roll up in a fleet of Jaguars with an entourage and a stylist. Fortunately for my initial reputation we only came in 1 Jaguar, which had no room for my entourage or my stylist. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>My roommate, we’ll call him Jon (mostly because that was his name, but also because Jon is a pretty popular name and would otherwise have been the firs alias I would have come up with), was from nearby; right outside of <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Syracuse</st1:place></st1:City>. Funny thing about <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Syracuse</st1:place></st1:City> is that within 10 miles it turns into sprawling farm lands – this was where Jon had grown to lay his head. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>In the neighboring vicinity of this farmland existed a little bar called Knoxies. This was the kind of place that if you didn’t know someone in the area… you would never come across. (Legend has it that Knoxies’ actual location changes every time you go there – very secretive stuff). Several months into the semester, Jon informed my new floor mates and myself that Knoxie’s had a 10 cent wing promotion every Monday. Given my eating habits, Monday night Knoxies became a staple in my <st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on">Syracuse</st1:City></st1:place> tenure. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Almost as quickly as the world turns, I developed an enormous tolerance for wings. Almost without stopping for a breath I could inhale nearly 50 of the buggers, bone clean, no meat to be found. Slowly, our enjoyment for eating wings developed a slightly competitive nature. <i style="">If Adam could eat 30 in half an hr, I could certainly eat 40 in 35. </i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>Soon the competition era was phased out by the “team concept” era. Gather your 4 best wing eaters and see how many wings you can clean in an hr. Our numbers were instantly legendary. In our 1<sup>st</sup> attempt we ate as a group 115 (there is some debate as to how many I ate that night. I claim I had around 60, others say it was closer to 40. Our WANG drunkenness prevented us from keeping any accurate historical records). Soon 115 became 120, 120 became 130 and 130 became 140. Then, one fateful night, me along with my friends Conor, Jay and The Jaguar (see earlier posts), decided to throw caution into the wind… we would eat 160 wings amongst the 4 of us (Conor would proceed to dip every bite in blue cheese, adding a significant load to the already substantial weight of our wing conquest). </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>To say that we ate all 160 would be a lie, a prime example of brutal dishonesty. Truth is that I dropped one wing to its perilous death on the sawdust-ridden floor. <i style="">There’s no 5-second rule in god’s country!</i> To this day I remain ashamed of my negligent behavior. But the record was set that Monday night in November in my sophomore year, and the record would stand for the rest of my <st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on">Syracuse</st1:City></st1:place> days. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>SO WHAT? WHO CARES? Well, as I demonstrated that historical night, Wings are the unheralded essence of life: I digress.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>A little over a week ago, NHL fans witnessed one of the most horrid accidents in the history of Athletic competition, barring the ancient Grecian sport of javelin swallowing which has since been banned in all but 4 countries (and three provinces). </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Behind his own net, Richard Zednik was fighting for the puck. When his teammate and captain Olli Jokinen was checked into the boards, Olli’s skate jerked up towards Zednik’s face. The next image the camera showed was of Zednik bracing his neck skating to his bench. Blood was everywhere as Zednik has sliced his carotid artery, a potentially fatal incident. Literally speaking, blood was everywhere. The crowd was silent, teammates were panicking and trainers assisted in rushing Zednik to the local <st1:city st="on">Buffalo</st1:City> hospital (who knew they had medical care near <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">Canada</st1:place></st1:country-region>). The next several minutes were occupied by a terribly difficult decision making process; whether or not to continue the game. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">These decisions are never easy ones, as evidenced by Jiri Fischer’s on-ice collapse in <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Detroit</st1:place></st1:City> several years ago. Apparently the powers that be felt it better to complete the game, and thus the puck was once again dropped, albeit amidst a cloud of doubt and concern for the life of a “consummate teammate and professional”, Richard Zednik. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Within two days the sporting world received the word the Richard would be ok. According to the doctors, Zednik reached the hospital just in time to receive what is considered “life-saving surgery”. Although Zednik would be unable to return to the ice this year, dr’s opined that Zednik would most likely be back in competitive form for the start of next season. Given the almost inevitable trade of Jokinen and the Panther’s otherwise inexperienced roster, playoffs for the <st1:place st="on"><st1:state st="on">Florida</st1:State></st1:place> club are considered a pipe dream. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><b style="">So where am I going with all this?</b> When Zednik awoke from his post-surgical sleep, he not surprisingly found himself hungry. Hospital food? Nah! Pasta and veggies? Fugheddaboudit! Apple sauce and cream of corn? Perhaps tomorrow! When Richard Zednik awoke from his deep sleep, the only things on his mind were Buffalo Wings… and a lot of them. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">When in <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Rome</st1:place></st1:City> eh? According to nurses, Zednik didn’t even hesitate when asked what he wanted to eat. But Wings are notoriously unhealthy and Dr’s were concerned that the grease might not be the best antidote for a recovering patient. So the Docs ran a few tests, asked a few questions, and eventually determined that wings were exactly what the Dr. ordered. Richard Zednik, ladies and gentlemen, <b style="">defines the word “man”. </b>Being in Buffalo, there was of course no shortage of the things (my junior year I “asked” my pledges to drive the 2.5 hrs to Buffalo to bring me back a dozen wings… my pledges were good pledges!). Given the severity of the injury, 1 local wing joint felt inclined to donate wings and pizza to feed the entire hospital staff that day. According to reporters, after biting into his 1<sup>st</sup> wing, Zednik appeared as healthy as ever.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">I love wings, and I really can’t stand the fact that EVERYTIME I’M EATING THEM, some ass has to remind me of how unhealthy they are. To all those people… IF THEY’RE HEALTHY ENOUGH FOR A DYING MAN, THEN BY ALL MEANS THEY’RE HEALTHY ENOUGH FOR ME. Let that be the end of the wing-health discussion.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">So what’s the moral of the story? Some people drink Soy Milk, which ironically contains NO DAIRY and therefore IS NOT MILK. Some people stay away from carbs and some from grease. Some people watch their weight and others eat to feel good. But take it from a man who was literally inches away from losing his life that when you’re down and out, or even when you’re just a little hungry, never underestimate the powers of a delicious buffalo wing. </p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">P.S. Hockey is the best sport and the only sport in which people don’t cheat.</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">Other Notes<o:p></o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><o:p> </o:p></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">What’s with all of the pirates walking around NYC?</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Jazz killed weezie. Weezie re-killed Jazz. Weezie is killed by… <i style="">Kermit Ruffins?<br /> <!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br /> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Hi I’m Dwight Howard, nice to meet you world. I’m going to be here for a while so you better get used to me. OH, and Phil (<st1:city st="on">Jackson</st1:City>), I’ll see you when my contract in this theme park is up, save me a seat next to <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Kobe</st1:place></st1:City>.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">STOP WATCHING NASCAR.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Speaking of Weezie, quote of the century: <i style="">“if you understand me, you must be Jesus Christ”<o:p></o:p></i></p>SC Davehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08521995281529578201noreply@blogger.com0